It's just tense and weird. I went to see lorax with my niece and nephew. I can't believe this is my vacation and birthday. I wish I could jump on a plane and get home but then my mom will cry. When I get home I'll have a good sob. And I'll never do this again. I just feel a little homeless in that Los Angeles doesn't feel like home, and home feels like shit. Kind of midlife crisis-y in that I'm not quite sure what the fuck I am doing and I'm horribly unhappy. I just don't much like being alive any more. It's too much work and no reward.
Well, quite a lot of fuss. If I didn't know better, I'd think we were dangerous.
Mal ,'Bushwhacked'
Natter 69: Practically names itself.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Allyson - Mar 28, 2012 1:35:35 pm PDT #28481 of 30001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
-t - Mar 28, 2012 1:39:27 pm PDT #28482 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
I'm so sorry, Allyson. Going home shouldn't be like that.
Allyson - Mar 28, 2012 1:43:51 pm PDT #28483 of 30001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Sorry I'm a total fucking downer.
Kat - Mar 28, 2012 1:46:14 pm PDT #28484 of 30001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
Allyson, I'm sorry this trip has been so hard. That sense of displacement and not being long and being sort of...Home-lacking is sucky. I wish things were easier for you.
§ ita § - Mar 28, 2012 1:48:16 pm PDT #28485 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Do you know what you can do to get a home? Is it LA's fault? Is there somewhere else you should be, you think? With different people? Or is there a different way you can live in LA to make it work for you?
Allyson - Mar 28, 2012 1:50:55 pm PDT #28486 of 30001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Thanks Kat. I wish I could have some cake with the twins. I wish I could sleep until my flight leaves on Saturday. I gave to figure out a way to make shit better. My brain is not cooperating.
le nubian - Mar 28, 2012 1:53:46 pm PDT #28487 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."
can you go to a hotel for a day or two?
Allyson - Mar 28, 2012 1:56:00 pm PDT #28488 of 30001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
I don't have any answers, ita. Just that general feeling that I'm failing, badly. Seeing the ex probably made it worse because it reminded me of that feeling of someone genuinely liking who I am. Everything feels jumbled and painful.
Allyson - Mar 28, 2012 1:59:23 pm PDT #28489 of 30001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Tried, len. Got the speech, I know I was a terrible mother but please don't go. I can't handle it. I'm kind of just here because I feel awful that my mother is in mental and emotional pain. Making it worse would be harder than making myself feel better.
Scrappy - Mar 28, 2012 2:07:18 pm PDT #28490 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Oh, man, Allyson. I am sorry that you are in such distress. Families can just break you sometimes. That rootless, aimless feeling happens to all of us and it's painful as hell, but it can often presage good changes. Really.