I don't know whether or not to be surprised that so many of us had similar experiences -- believing we were smart kids, getting by without having to work too hard, and therefore thinking that we just weren't good at anything that didn't come easily. I still feel that way, though at least these days I'm more able to recognize the mindset and talk my way out of it on occasion.

My favorite teacher in HS, both at the time and in retrospect, was Ms. DeFeo, my English teacher in 9th and 11th grade. She gave me my first C, and though I was mortified about it at the time, it did motivate me to work harder in her class, and to realize (maybe for the first time) that being a smart kid didn't automatically mean I'd get As all the time.

She was also a cranky, eccentric, funny, outspoken, unabashed feminist, and she let me write a paper on Jeanette Winterson's Sexing the Cherry. God, I loved her.

Looked at Khan Academy, glanced at the basic math section, realized my utter ignorance of fractions. Now want to hide under a desk with my pathetic brain and just read smutty fic all day.

edit: (off to Khan Academy to study fractions)

For 5 months, I thought he meant a washer (as in dryer) and I could not get how a 5 cm washer was anything we should worry about. I did not get visually what he was driving at.

OK, this adds way more incentive to my vague "I ought to find some visual aids for that section" thoughts. My class will be getting to that in a few weeks.

Looked at Khan Academy, glanced at the basic math section, realized my utter ignorance of fractions. Now want to hide under a desk with my pathetic brain and just read smutty fic all day.

I'm not sure whether the tone would amuse you or totally turn you off (everyone I know either loves this or hates it, and I've not yet been able to predict who will do what), but Danica McKellar -- Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years, who later got a doctorate in math -- published a few books explaining middle school math specifically for girls. One of them is called "Math Doesn't Suck," and I can't remember the title of the other. If you can get beyond the overly cutesy tone, the explanations are actually really good, and it explains the upper-elementary and middle school topics -- especially fractions -- that tend to be the sticking point for understanding algebra. It's peppered with lots of "You can do it!" and "You're doing great!" types of things.

I just looked at the "Look Inside" on Amazon for "Math Doesn't Suck," and the fraction page it gave me starts with "Personally, when I work on fractions, I like to think of pizza. But then, I really like pizza. (C'mon, who doesn't like pizza?)" But then that's followed by a pretty clear explanation, using the pizza to illustrate it.

Danica McKellar -- Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years, who later got a doctorate in math -- published a few books explaining middle school math specifically for girls. One of them is called "Math Doesn't Suck,"

I heard her interviewed on Science Friday about her books a couple of years back. They sound great.

Just ran through the Lattice Multiplication video. This is a completely new approach to me. When did this show up?

My brain keeps going "You know how to multiply! You are perfectly capable of carrying numbers." But I keep reminding myself that I need to scout out the floor of this stuff and remember where all the trip hazards are before I get adventurous and start climbing. If I hadn't skimmed over this stuff 40 years ago, I wouldn't be having to do it again now.

And it's appalling how often I'm using my fingers on basic addition. Though considering how rarely I actually have to do basic addition in my head, I shouldn't be too hard on myself.

On the heels of the academic discussion, I just had the following conversation with a student:

Student: Ms. M. You're a really lucky teacher.

Me: Why?

S: You don't have to teach anything.

Me: What? You think I don't teach anything?

S: You don't.

Me: Really? You don't learn ANYTHING in here?

S: Well, yeah. But it's fun stuff. So it doesn't count.

Dear me. I don't know if I should be offended or sad that he thinks learning can't be fun.

I am on jury duty. The jackson dr trial is here as is occupy la. Its a zoo outside. Essays? Ive written two collections and i have no idea how they are supposed to be structured. Start at beginning finish at end. Middle is a lot of bullshit.

My sister comes up against so many students that don't want to learn. As a university student, would you ever tell your teacher you didn't like reading? An anthropology teacher?

She wouldn't let me mark in red pen, because she says they find it dispiriting. Is that common practice?

Also, why the fuck shouldn't they be dispirited? They were wrong.

Okay, perhaps it's possible I shouldn't take the lead in anyone's education.