someone slipped into my garage and stole my toolbox.

That would make me insane. Okay, more insane. I have a lot of tools, though. I probably have a tool problem. I have three hammers and three regular pliers and half the time I can't find any of them.

I have now snuck a drawing of Kavan Smith making out with a pony-tailed woman into a program I'm working on to illustrate the vocabulary word "kiss." We'll see if it passes muster or if the clients want things cartoonized to the point that the likeness isn't recognizable.

Marking drunken monkeys post for later watching.

Jilli, I kinda don't get it. Is it a Beetlejuice thing?

Dear workplace,
So you can't get your shit together to get me a decent cell phone, but you won't reimburse me for the use of my personal phone this past few weeks? Okay, how about I stop answering all work texts, calls, and emails on my personal phone then.

No love,
me

I don't mind chatty store folks. They have a thankless and mind-numbing job. If they are being genuinely friendly, that's cool. If they are being friendly because their overlords force them to, well, I usually say something like "You must get tired of saying the same thing to people all day." which often gets a genuine response.

One of these years I'm just going to copy-paste from Bellwether and be done with it.

love this.

Ginger, I hope Kaiser fixes the scheduling issue for you fast, and then fixes it long term.

Crap Consuela, that sucks.

Jilli, I kinda don't get it. Is it a Beetlejuice thing?

Yep! "He calls himself a "freelance bio-exorcist", claims he can get rid of the living."

I don't mind chatty store folks. They have a thankless and mind-numbing job. If they are being genuinely friendly, that's cool. If they are being friendly because their overlords force them to, well, I usually say something like "You must get tired of saying the same thing to people all day." which often gets a genuine response.

I assume the Trader Joe's checkout people are supposed to make conversation, but it's always different, since they generally comment on stuff I'm buying, and *that's* always different. Plus, I like to talk about food, and they're so damn enthusiastic about it.

Meant to say, Consuela, I would so be ready to cut a bitch. If they hadn't taken my box cutter, too. I get antsy when other people use my hammer.

Okay, so now I've got a flip phone. No email. Excuse me for being a diva, but I effing hate texting on a flip phone. So annoyed right now. I know we're a nonprofit, I know we're hard up right now, but I would really, *really* love to know how many of the office peeps have Blackberries. Grrr.

The clerks and baggers at Raley's have started asking me what I'm "doing today" as part of their conversation gambit, which I understand that's a natural chatty question to ask but it kind of flusters me because I'm generally not doing anything. I mean, I'm grocery shopping, but they know that.

I'm okay chatting at check out, because I'm about to escape. I hate shopping, so my nerves are always on edge. I don't need talking.