Sometimes, this city (Jerusalem) is a bit too much to take.

Last night, I was sitting with a friend in her car. She dropped me home after we met (Hollaback things, she's a potential future volunteer. It's not like I have the luxury to actually meet friends just to hang out these months). We were talking, as we realized that something's going on in the car parking next to us. There was a man in the front sit, who was talking to a woman, who yelled at him, in the back seat. The windows of the back seat were darkened, so we had no idea what went on there, but it looked dodgy. We got out of the car to show our presence, in hope that will help (he did stop and looked at us when we were standing half a meter from him). The yelling was in Arabic, so we only understood 30% of it, and we hesitated to call the police, as we didn't know how the police will handle this and if they won't make the situation only worse. When we heard something that could have been a struggle, we snapped and called them - we couldn't interfere because we were too scared for our own skin, but whatever went on there, someone had to step in. We have no idea if the police ever arrived, or what happened to that woman - we had to leave the place. It's incredibly hard to choose in these situations, when calling the police isn't the best idea because usually their attitude towards minorities is fucking awful, but we really didn't know what else to do.

This morning, on the bus to the central bus station, I saw a graffiti on the back of one of the seats in the front of the bus: "if it's possible, women - in the back of the bus", and a reply - "no, it's not possible. (singed)- the women". Made my blood boil. 12 minutes later, in the central bus stop itself, border police were holding an African man for questioning and asked him for his identifications in the great tradition of racial profiling.

So many wrongs in this world to fix.

As they say in Pirkei Avot [link] "it is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it". It is a very small consolation this morning, but it is one. I just wish there was more I could do, or that this world wouldn't been that broken.

"it is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it"

oh, I like that a LOT. It pretty much sums up my social issue philosophy.

Is anyone else thinking "Shir is awesome, amazing, and I wish folks would listen to her". I can't be the only one.

Eh. Don't feel that amazing, as there's not much that can be done on my part.

On the bright side, it's my turn to take out the dog tonight. I'm very much looking forward for this.

You are amazing. Remember your CV. That's you.

I love that Pirkei Avot quote, I recall it from my Intro to Judaic Civ class in college.

Where's Written? Hottie! I could do with that. I mean, I have nothing to write, but I could start.

Dude, you've got the stash of hottie pictures, couldn't you write a script for that?

Sean, I hope you've gotten through your block.

Off to the paying job. Woo.

I love all the ideas for work!

Have survived jury duty. The judge was very funny, and loved to talk. It took an hour and a half to get to voire dire, and then another two and a half for them to decide I wasn't what they wanted in the jury pool. Oh well. I visited the MAC store (bad for budget, but fun anyway) as a reward for doing my civic duty and talked up Cold Kiss to the saleswoman who convinced me to try a glittery eyeliner that I'm liking very much.

I woke up this morning to discover that my awesome high school poets from '97-'98 have found me on the internets. They're in their 30s now, which means I'm probably not 29 anymore. One sent an email that started "I've thought about you for a long time. Though resistant to poetry in your class, I went on to get a BA in creative writing in poetry..." and didn't end with "what did you do to me??!!" Which was pretty weepy-making. Didn't go with the glittery eyeliner.

Shir, the amazingness cannot be denied or revoked.

Sean, when I get stuck I start writing an outline (if I haven't already.) Not necessarily in penny dreadful format, but it allows me to see what needs to happen to get from point A to point Z more clearly. It's kind of like a fractal, as I get more into the story, I start adding more and more interstices to move me along the path every time I get stalled. And I try to tie an emotional beat to every plot point, so it's not just fluff and filler. The outline changes a lot, because at every point I ask myself 1) will this achieve what I need to happen for the plot and 2) would making it happen have someone act out of character.

I struggled with that forever on my current story, because it would have required having my character do something that many people in the fandom would have considered extremely OOC, until I found just the right environment that would allow him to look at his motivation from his own perspective and not just from that of the writer and fans wanting to see him do something. Now, unfortunately, I have 5 days left to write my story. I only need 1000 words (and I'm at 900), but there's a lot more story left than I originally planned. Joy.

Man, work is kicking my ass today. Time usually flies here, but today is somehow both slow and hectic.

An hour and a half to the weekend. Yay?

You can do it, Shir! *\\0/*

I start therapy today. First time in years. I'm terrified.