And bonny, I was at the point of emailing you (which--you know I never take that initiative. Might be intrusive, or something)
Aw, m'honey. You could _never_ intrude. I love your words and welcome all of them that I can get.
And, honestly, I've been so incredibly out of touch in every possible way that solitude just made it a lot easier on me.
I felt terribly guilty for not getting back to everyone who sent such wonderfully supportive messages. I did my best but the energy just failed me.
I gained a huge amount of weight, my skin became fx-worthy, my hair even went much more grey. Definitely spooky tower material.
Thank god, I was able to work effectively and that really, really helped.
Now, I just feel a bit like a mole, emerging into spring. And still, the emerging is exhausting. Last Friday, I ran into 5 people who did not know..."Hey, where is he?!" still really pulls me up short. Especially when children ask. It's not my place to try and explain death to a 5 year old...especially one with a wide smile on their sweet little face. I'm doing a lot of mumbling and fleeing yet.
Post all night if you have to. I'm sure the awesome insomniac powers of the bitches can manage to cover a few time zones.
Post all night if you have to. I'm sure the awesome insomniac powers of the bitches can manage to cover a few time zones.
Yes, yes we can. Heaven knows I'm probably good until about 2am Pacific.
Cindy and Bonny, it's very good to see both of you.
I'm headed to bed, but will probably be up by about 3am, if I end up being true to form. I'll check in then.
Maria, I wish I could be closer. My thoughts are with you.
Maria, if you want/need, you are welcome to stay with me. I know it's kind of a hike, but there's a lovely guest room. Or Mal and I can come up and entertain you.
Maria, can't add much to what everyone else has said but I am thinking of you.
I felt terribly guilty for not getting back to everyone who sent such wonderfully supportive messages. I did my best but the energy just failed me.
I hope you can let go of that guilt, Maria. I think most people who write to tell you that they love you when you are going through something like this understand that the last thing you have the energy to do is respond to each and every message. Their reaching out is a gift freely given, with no expectations of reciprocation.
My heart aches for you. I hope you can get some rest tonight.
I felt terribly guilty for not getting back to everyone who sent such wonderfully supportive messages. I did my best but the energy just failed me.
Maria, don't worry about that. I still haven't managed to write the thank-you cards to everyone who sent condolences and messages to me last year. When I fretted about that to my therapist, she pointed out that anyone who cares enough to send a message will also care enough to understand that sometimes replying is almost impossible.
