I understand, you guys. And, believe me, having a ready-made answer to the "What's wrong with me?" questions. Doesn't really help at all. (Not to mention hating the thought that my whole life can be boiled down to things that went wrong that I don't even remember.And there *are* PWD that manage to do everything...why aren't I more like them? Turning the world on with my smile AND making barriers my bitch.

I'm never going to be a mom either. Rob would have been an awesome dad.

I'm so sorry, Maria. I remember old LJ conversations about you and Rob talking about having children. I hate that death robs us not only of our people, but of the dreams we shared with them. That note from Rob's player is beautiful.

When my dad passed (and it was a totally different situation at their stage in life, but his death was also sudden), my mother decided not to make any major decisions (at least any that could be avoided) for at least a year (so like selling the house, etc.). It was a choice that served her well.

I guess I'm telling you this, because of your 'never' up there. To the extent you can, just take each day as it comes, right now (or each hour, or even each minute). Your world has just been totally upended. Some doors are shut, but not all. Don't shut any on yourself, right now, if you can help it. Just keep breathing. Let tomorrow worry about itself.

Tearing up at the text from the young man. Incredibly sweet.

Oh Maria! And Cindy, that was beautifully said. Just work on today, Maria, and the tomorrows will come.

Cindy, yes, very well said. I've heard that advice repeated by Clark Howard and Suze Orman, too.

Today is one of those days at work (like so many) where I have fifty things to deal with and they all keep me from dealing with the one thing my boss keeps pestering me about. Arggh. And now I have to try and go finish it while sitting on a stoop out on site while my crew works. ::sigh::

I've spent most of my adult life to date single, but I find myself more and more wanting to be in a true partnership. And it's so hard that the wanting doesn't make it happen.

Jumps on the party wagon.

Le sigh.

I've spent most of my adult life to date single, but I find myself more and more wanting to be in a true partnership. And it's so hard that the wanting doesn't make it happen.

Yep. Been there, done that, HATE the T-shirt.

I greatly appreciate Hubby at this time. I think I'll go hug him again in gratitude, then address a few deities as well.

{{{Maria}}} It sounds like your husband made a huge impact on many lives. I hope you can take some comfort in that. The young man's note was just wonderful and had me tearing up this morning. I wanted to add my voice what the California buffistas have already said, anytime you want to escape, MA is available to you. I'll take you to RI for dinner on Federal Hill anytime you want.

{{{Maria}}}.Just adding my voice to the chorus so that you are as surrounded by buffistae love as you can be.