Oh Maria. My thoughts are with you.
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
We are with you in spirit--and I'll keep checking in
This may be one of those times when booze is helpful, if it doesn't override your ability to control the images in your mind.
Oh, darling, I know this is going to be so hard. Give yourself permission to do whatever you need to right now. We are here for you.
I'm at my parents in PA. And I don't want to take anything. This would be the first time and I'm afraid of a reaction or fucked up dreams.
{{{{Maria}}}}
And I don't want to take anything.
Three Ibuprofen, or Benadryl would help you sleep and wouldn't cause any crazy reactions.
Oh, you need rest.
Oh, Maria, I'm so sorry. And everything Liese said.
I'm glad you're with your folks. You don't have to take anything if you don't want to. Rest may come scarce for a while, but your body will sleep when it needs to.
I know those final moments can be so awful, especially when it's such a shock. Eventually you'll be able to have the better memories override, but right now you'll have this to go through.
You don't have to do anything but be shocked right now. (And while I'm at it, you are allowed to have negative emotions too. You are allowed to be angry and upset as well as grieving.) You can get through this.
I don't know how to do this myself.
Let your parents be with you and either a drink or a Xanax / Ativan / Valium / any of the anxiety drugs (if that's available) if you think that might help let you fall asleep. You do need rest. But sometimes sleep is hard to grasp.