Oy. Thank you all. My supervisor told me we had the green light and asked me to consider carefully today; I came back at the end of the day and said it had to happen. Still, I question myself, always, and I wish it were not necessary.
And (and I want to stress this) if he doesn't, that's not your fault.
I know that, and yet, I think I'm still going to be wondering what else I could have done for a while. But really, we've all tried, and we've all given up now.
Sorry to threadhog, even unintentionally. I'm still new to supervising, and I appreciate having a place to vent and y'all's excellent counsel.
I think you will note it's the business owners who chimed in saying sometimes you have to say enough is enough. I'm not saying it's not an incredibly difficult decision, but you do need to make it sometimes, for the good of everyone in the business.
Especially with a program like yours when you're deliberately trying to work with marginal folks, it's tough to make that decision. But I have to do it, all the time, with my students, or I'd go crazy. I do all I can for them, as long as I can, but in the end, they have to own their decisions, particularly their poorest ones.
I think about the kid who pointed a gun at the SO's head. And then the next time we saw him was years later, he was an adult attending a symphony. We had nothing to do with that process; we weren't there for when he got clean and kicked the gang and recovered his love of music. But we were there for him when we could be. We had a role to play in one part of his life, and we did the best we could with it. And then we moved on.
We never stopped loving him or thinking about him or worrying about where his life would lead. But we also could not have him in the classroom with a firearm, endangering us and our other students. He was always welcome without it, but since he'd been recently jumped, he felt insecure without it, so he made his choices. We had to make a difficult decision that put the well-being of our other students ahead of his. There's no soft, nice way to say that. But he made a choice and that choice had consequences.
Fortunately that story has a happy ending (and his baby was adorbs, I have to say) but whether or not it did was up to him, not us.
Sounds like it was a fairly productive day, smonster; if you have to let someone go, it should be a little hard, or else you're not human.
But you have to do what's right for the work.
Favor: could someone please comment on a blog post on my site? eringriggs.com
I'll erase it, but I need to check something.
Thanks, Ginger!
ETA: Oops, I need a comment on one of my blog posts. I should have been more specific.
We had to make a difficult decision that put the well-being of our other students ahead of his. There's no soft, nice way to say that. But he made a choice and that choice had consequences.
Yup. Thank you for sharing that story. And I'm glad that particular former student did find his way.
PB's not the type to have a loaded weapon, but his presence is definitely detrimental to the program and his lack of focus can be a physical danger, as well.
I should be asleep, but instead I am reading
Blameless
. Curse you for writing page-turners, Gail Carriger! Even if the page-turning is virtual.
So I tweaked my website a little -- new head shot and pix, a Hello bar, some sidebar tweakage.
Thoughts?
