I finally got in touch with Mom. I'm feeling a little better talking to her.

Last night I kept thinking I'd wake up and find her dead or thinking other catastrophic thoughts. I do that all the time - think the worst - and it never happens. Except this time it did so that's throwing me a bit.

Oh hon. But you did see she was ailing, and you tried to get her help and care for her the best you could. I'm so sorry you didn't have longer with her, and she you.

I'm so sorry, asyke. That's sad and stressful.

askye, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard not to blame yourself. I've been there with losing a pet young. But it's clear that you loved Maddie and you provided her with the best care you could. Take care of yourself.

Will is here, I'm feeling a little better. Dean keeps running around and wants to be petted a lot. Will and I are going to get some lunch and then he's going to help me with some stuff around the house I've put off.

I'm going to take care of myself today and go to work tomorrow.

aksye, how devastating. I am so, so sorry. You loved Maddie and you did your best. Sometimes bad things happen even when we do our best, and it's not our fault. Glad Will is there to take care of you.

{{{askye}}}

{{askye}} and no you should not blame your self for not knowing more than the vet.

Will came up, he was a great comfort. We had lunch and he's taken Maddie back to his farm to bury next to many dogs and 2 of his favorite cows. I didn't go because he lives an hour away and I didn't want to drive and it's just not reasonable for him to take 3 hours to - drive me down, drive me back, drive himself home.

Plus I really just want to take a nap.

Dean is being extra affectionate and I don't know what his kitty brain understands but I'm going to see how he does as an only cat.

Askye, so sorry. Have lost a pet before her time, but she was a dog. my cats tend to have comically long runs, but I know how powerless you must feel and how much you miss your friend.