Still waiting for a date who is now 4

That's a little, um, young for a date, donchya think?

Well, that's why she's waiting.

Gah, iPhone. 40 min late. After I warned him about parking and the venue selling out. Doesn't look promising.

Scrappy said what I was thinking, then I thought, babysitting? Aw, how cute.

Instead it's rudeness.

Bah.

So, I need a bit of advice.

Some of you may have seen this amazing child abuse poster campaign come across your social media feeds today.

It really is exceptional and high tech. Basically, it uses a technique where anyone under 4 feet tall sees a message saying "If someone is hurting you we will help" and offering a 911-like number to call. The image changes from a peaceful little boy's face, which the adult sees, to a bruised face, which only the child is supposed to see. Very clever.

It made me physically ill.

Not the reaction I think they are going for.

So, after mulling it over all day, I have decided to write to the advertising agency which created the ad. I am certain that they will have received hundreds of similar messages, but I can't be sure, so I'm going to add my thoughts to whatever pile is available.

My need for advice is this...is what I've written dispassionate enough to be taken seriously?

Except for the occasional conversation here, and the rare illustrative story in the therapy room, I really don't talk about that part of my history any more. Partly because I've exorcized most of what needs getting through and partly because I'd rather not be a sad sack bore.

So, I want to make sure I am making my point as effectively as possible.

Please do no fear offending me. I sincerely want to do this as best I can, so all comments will be appreciated.

Mr. Lynn,

I suspect you have received many messages about the innovative and exceptionally well-meaning ANAR campaign to help children in abusive situations via hotline numbers.

Of course, the image-changing poster is remarkable. A revolutionary advancement in advertising practice.

There is one extremely important issue with it, about which, I am particularly qualified to comment. I was the child of a violent, alcoholic pedophile, with whom I lived alone for many years. My story is similar to those they make very sad movies about but, it is also one which thankfully has a quite happy ending. I am healthy and very, very seldom experience flashbacks which I struggle to process.

However, when I first saw the video of the ANAR project, I have to confess, I had a very old, visceral reaction. One that I thought I had completely overcome.

I started shaking and sweating.

The image threw me back into memories of my father's reactions to anything...and I mean _anything_ that threatened his 'secret' or that might have resulted in my getting, or being taken, away from him. Anything at all that acknowledged the abuse resulted in a rage. It goes without saying, I suppose, but those rages exacerbated the abuse and led to threats that made me fear for my life.

If I were a child seeing the ANAR poster on a bus stop, I would have no idea that my father could not see the image as well. I would be _terrified_. If he even noticed me looking at the picture of a bruised child...well, you take my meaning.

Of course, the video describing the project does not mention how, or if, the poster will be distributed beyond the advertising award circuit...on which, I am certain it will do very well.

I beg you, if ANAR does decide to put the campaign into wide use, please, please add a line to the copy that says something like, "This message is just for you." Or, in some graphical way, indicate that the child is safe from the adult seeing it.

Otherwise, I fear Grey Spain's good work will have been for naught.

Thank you very much for your consideration of these concerns.

Full Name

website

Bonny, I think that was very well said and needs to be said. I hope you send it as is.

Frank, how scary! I'm so glad you are safe, so sorry to hear about your landlord and about losing your home. Fingers crossed that you land in a good place.

What Burrell said.

I know you'd been having issues with your landlord. Still, what a horrible end. I'm so glad you got out safely.

Who is Mr. Lynn, bonny?

And would that line have been enough to keep you safe? Your father would still see an anti-child abuse poster. Is the phone number the threshold that would make him explode?

(Feel free to not engage if anything I'm asking is something you don't want to talk about)

No no. I appreciate the questions, ita!.

Mr. Lynn is the director of Grey Espana, which is the division of the Grey Group (all OVER the world) advertising company that came up with the campaign.

Oddly, the only references I can find about the project are in news items that mention potential advertising awards. The ANAR website does not mention is, as far as I could see.

You know, my father was pretty short. He might have been able to see the image. THAT is what would have set him off. Both the picture of a bruised child and the offer of help would have...well, he'd have gone crazy.

He once beat me bloody when he caught me watching an episode of the Waltons. No lie. Anything that showed real families that cared for each other, was the ultimate threat to his worldview.

I don't want to come across as condemning the project. There is such a huge spectrum of abuse and there are so many kids who could benefit from this gesture of help.

It is just a matter of doing it in a way that does not make things worse.

I have to be completely honest, my fear was so great, I'm not sure that, even is I saw the poster on my own, I would call the number. My besieged brain would have doubted that it was real, that I could trust whomever I spoke to and, more to the point, that any help I got would actually keep me from being killed.