~ma for you and your grandma, smonster.

-ma for your Grandma, smonster.

Happy Birthdays to Ryan and Ford!

So - found my wallet after misplacing it on Thursday. I was pretty sure that it was in my apartment . . .but was afraid that it had managed to disappear into a box. I just had no memory of what I had done with it. Started thinking that maybe I was wrong and I lost it elsewhere so I checked lost & found with the campus police and the student union. No joy.

Then, I got home tonight, sat on my bed and looked at the project bag on my bedside bookshelf. I swear I checked it before, but this time when I looked in it there was my wallet right there on top.

I'm relieved but still feeling a bit silly.

Family~ma, smonster.

Okay, sorry, need to vent.

In addition to previous things talked about, the chiro failed to fix my neck this morning, I'm still PMSing, and I just realized that I forgot to take my antidepressant this morning. So how am I feeling? I'm lonely but I hate the world, I need to eat but nothing sounds good except cookie dough, but I don't have any in the house, I don't want to be alone but I don't want to call anyone, and did I mention I hate the world?

tl;dr the numbness is wearing off, I do believe.

that's not even tl, smonster.

I'm sorry the chiro didn't work. And for everything else.

Do you have access to something comforting, smonster? Comfort music, or comfort movie, and some comfort food? I wish there was an easier way to deal with heartbreak, but I've never found any way but through it.

You can hate the world! We'll hate the world with you! Seriously, I know we're not there in person, but we are totally here for you, so get your ass in here and vent all you need. The floor is yours for the next however long you need. No need to apologize, just be here, and we'll be here with you.

Well, I just snarfed the last of my chocolate chips. Nothing sounds appealing to watch. Which, considering my assortment of DVDs is sad. I don't feel like cathartic crying, or distracting laughter. I've been listening to Lucero, which someone once described as "heartbreak at its muthafuckin' finest." It kind of helps?

Really, I need to send in my timesheet so I get paid and probably just take another Xanax and go the fuck to sleep.

I will say that I'm proud that I have not just laid around crying today. I went to the chiro, picked up a donation, finally bought some supplements I've been meaning to get, purchased paint markers to make a Kaylee parasol for the fundraiser, got flea stuff from the vet, fixed lunch for myself and RI, and then did a couple of hours of budget and fundraiser stuff. And two loads of laundry, though I haven't folded them yet. Ran out of gas hard around 5 pm, and have kind of fallen apart since then. Ah well.

Oh smonster, I'm sorry. Vent away, sweetie. I may join you. It's been a rough day here too.

That's great. Good for you. That's a lot to get done on a good day, and today was not a good day.

But yeah, send in your timesheet. We'll wait here. And then getting some rest probably would be a good idea.