Man, Liese. That is the fucking word bomb, and I needed that too. I need to start a word doc of Buffista wisdom I can refer to in rough times. So, like, daily.
Just so y'all know, I was convinced that I was going to piss everyone off with my completely ill-timed and poorly chosen words. Aren't brains FUNNY? Ha. Ha ha.
erika, I'm so sorry about sweet Betsy. I met her, right? She was adorable.
Trudy, that is... quite a lot. I wish you patience and strength to get through whatever lies ahead.
The thoughts running through my head right now are pretty much "I hate everyone in the world" and "I want to set the world on fire." I'm pretty sure it's the result of a frustrating workweek (my boss is so lucky I haven't punched him in the nose) and overextending myself on other fronts. I was just trying to get to the weekend... and now my weekend is looking insane. Paid work and unpaid work and volunteer work are going to swallow, oh, probably 18 waking hours of the three days. At least. Plus personal errands and unpacking (yes, still). And I seem to have volunteered myself to hang out with my super-depressed coworker who could not look me in the eye today and say, "I'm not suicidal." He's so young, and so hard on himself, and so broken hearted... and has his head so far up his ass it's not even funny. Having worn my ass as a hat myself, I recognize.
So. Anyhoo. I'm recognizing, at least, that my gut reaction to push back against any more demands on my time means I'm over committed. And I've taken a Xanax and am about to go to bed, and I hope to sleep a lot. Solidly. Without pain waking me up. Ommmmm...
Oh, and D's nonverbalness is smacking right up against a number of my triggers. I guess it's karma that I, a kind of hyperverbal polyglot code switcher, would be somewhat flummoxed by someone who just... does shit. Frequently it's great. Other times it's not. And I try and talk about it with him... but see above re: nonverbal. The ESL thing can be an tricky, too. He's pretty fluent, but nuance can get lost and jokes aren't always funny.
That was... longer than I expected. Harumph. Leaving it, despite the mememe.
erika, I am so sorry. She sounded like a great dog.
Trudy, much ~ma to you dad and wife, and to the rest of your family as well.
And I try and talk about it with him... but see above re: nonverbal.
I feel you. It's frustrating to be inclined to talk 100 words per minute and free-associate and riff on everything -- with a partner who is most decidedly not like that. He doesn't have to go toe to toe with my excessive wordiness, but -- it's still frustrating, after all this time.
(Unrelatedly, either he needs his hearing checked or I talk like I have a mouth full of taffy, because the following conversation [or similar ones] happen in our house about 5 times a day:
Me: I'm going to make a smoothie before we leave; do you want one in a travel mug?
Him: [pause, blink,] Whaaaat?
Me: SMOOTHIE! [pointing] YOU! WANT?
Hand to god. I feel like a tourist in Indonesia or something. I end up pointing and gesturing and yelling the key word at him. The first few times, I thought it was me, mumbling like I just ate a mouthful of something. But it happens every damn day, so now I'ma blame him. I keep suggesting he get his hearing checked.)
(Unrelatedly, either he needs his hearing checked or I talk like I have a mouth full of taffy, because the following conversation [or similar ones] happen in our house about 5 times a day
Ha! It is the opposite in my house. I'm the deaf one and he's the mumbler! (He actually is mumbly sometimes, it's not just my poor hearing...which I blame on too many shows spent in front of speakers with no earplugs).
Hubby thought he was deaf in one ear, but it turns out he's got the hearing of someone half his age--who isn't a roadie for the Who, that is--but his brain has trouble processing auditory signals. So he's great at saying "Yes, I hear that tone. and that tone, too." Sounds with information, though, mess him up. My poor, mutant husband.
Connie, how did he discover that?
Strength to you and your family, Trudy.
Teppy - it may be more a part of his ADD than his hearing. I know when I'm concentrating hard on something and working to block out other stimuli, when CJ says something without getting my attention first I do the blink, blink, "What???" thing. Usually during the blink, blink stage I'm trying to run the audio in my head backward to see if I can figure out what he said. Even when I'm trying to focus on one thing, I hear everything. At least I think that is what happens with me. YADDMV
~ma for your step mother and for your whole family, Trudy.
Hand to god. I feel like a tourist in Indonesia or something. I end up pointing and gesturing and yelling the key word at him. The first few times, I thought it was me, mumbling like I just ate a mouthful of something. But it happens every damn day, so now I'ma blame him. I keep suggesting he get his hearing checked.)
This may be a focus/attention thing. If I am reading hard or otherwise mentally occupied when Daniel starts saying it can take me a couple of sentences to process that the comments are being specifically addressed to me and that a response is going to be required and then disengage my mind from what I was doing to refocus on what he is saying. I usually try to say, "Sorry, I didn't catch the first part of what you just said, could you please repeat it." I have also encouraged him to ask me to stop and listen to him before he gets into the meat of what he has to say, and wait for me to acknowledge that I am listening.
