Yesterday a coworker told me I was very intimidating to her. She's the Lead (this company's equivalent to house manager) at that location. She started in January. I was boggled, and apologized and asked what it was I was doing that felt intimidating (because I have zero desire to intimidate anyone with the exception of people who want to hurt the people I work with so if I am coming across as arrogant or know-it-all, I want to correct myself). Her response was that I am quiet, have been here for so long, and have a really good relationship with the individuals at that house so that my mere presence cuts down on the more aggressive behaviors.
Um... what?
Starbucks with a liquor license is a fortune waiting to happen.
You do not lie.
Windsparrow,
is it possible she is misusing "intimidating" and means it as a positive?
WS is the Gimp Whisperer-- pass it on.
My mother used to get feedback like that in her SPED jobs, too. In her case, it was like, yeah, I could see that.
But there was one guy she worked with the whole house HATED, because he would end up doing physical takedowns on even the chillest residents and my mom never had to.
I'm with le n, sounds like she meant it as a compliment.
Her response was that I am quiet, have been here for so long, and have a really good relationship with the individuals at that house so that my mere presence cuts down on the more aggressive behaviors.
Maybe she means that because she's new(ish), your skill is notable, and is -- "intimidated" is probably not the right word here -- impressed with your skill. Or maybe she means she's intimidated by the prospect of developing the kind of skill you have.
WS is the Gimp Whisperer
Snirk.
I want a badge that says that now. (ETA: I wouldn't actually wear the badge, I would keep it somewhere and once in a while for fun take it out and snirk at it.)
And I feel slightly less weird about that Lead. I'll take it as a compliment. And if it wasn't, well, there is one thing I have learned in this job, and that is that if I stick around long enough, the crazies will eventually quit. Or get fired.
WS, I read it as your Lead having her own case of imposter syndrome. How can she possibly lead you when you have things so well in hand?
WS, I read it as your Lead having her own case of imposter syndrome. How can she possibly lead you when you have things so well in hand?
I am at that house one or two days a week. I have been there one or two days a week for seven years. She is there forty plus hours every week. We each know different things about the people we support. It is every bit as vital that I hear her observations of how people are doing right now as it is for her to hear my observations of how people are developing/growing/remaining stable over time. I love getting new coworkers in who have new perspectives, because it helps me keep from getting stuck in "that's how ___ always has been, always will be" thinking.
And I have said that to her.
Ok, did I just make myself sound like a Mary Sue? I totally make mistakes all the time at work.
I wrote a response before I headed out, but it looks like I forgot to hit "post." Thank you all for the -ma. I took him in last week and they kept him over the weekend for kidney stuff (IV fluids). I took him home on Monday with instructions to come back in if he stopped eating for 24 hours, which was last night and this morning. So, the vet ran another panel, and he'd lost ground again. There wasn't anything to be done that would have a long-term benefit, and, as I put it and the vet confirmed, his quality of life was and would be crap, so it was time to let him go. I was there with him, which seemed like the right choice in this case.
Again, thanks for the -ma. It went, I suppose, as well as could be reasonably hoped for under the circumstances
