Go for the Bikini Inspector badge then

Oh, oh, oh, oh - Teddy Bear Doctor!

You have a *nice* sister, Strix. That's a good gift.

sj, IMO this comment is far more relevant than her failure to change her voicemail message:

She's aggravated that I sounded aggravated on the phone yesterday.

Everyone makes mistakes, although I do think not changing the message to reflect being on vacation is a mistake. But not being able to hide her own aggravation at you for your reaction is a sign. Her job is to be there for you, even when you're mad at her. I also think most therapists would be OK with you asking for a reference for another therapist, or at least they should be.

sj, everything you've said about this therapist makes me think you would be better served by someone who was more willing and more able to take her professional responsibilities seriously.

It's been my sad experience that getting recommendations from people who aren't good at their jobs doesn't tend to lead to people who are good at their jobs. Is there someone you know who has a therapist they like? Recommendations from other clients might lead you to someone better suited.

Is there someone you know who has a therapist they like? Recommendations from other clients might lead you to someone better suited.

That's a good point, Zen.

It's been my sad experience that getting recommendations from people who aren't good at their jobs doesn't tend to lead to people who are good at their jobs. Is there someone you know who has a therapist they like? Recommendations from other clients might lead you to someone better suited.

I'm not going to ask her for a recommendation. If I want to see a new therapist, I have to call my insurance company anyway. So, I'll call them and ask them for another therapist. Last time I called they asked for criteria, and this time around I was thinking of asking for a therapist who is part of a larger practice with a receptionist. Is that too random? I have honestly never had any luck with therapists that work by themselves. Of course I am talking about a small pool of people. I'm sure there are many fine therapists who work on their own who aren't disorganized messes.

ETA: I don't think I could ever go to a therapist that someone else I knew was going to. Maybe it's just me, but that would make me uncomfortable.

if your practice is in dealing with people who emotionally need professional guidance and assistance, would't it behoove you to communicate a bit better regarding when you are out of touch, out of town, and/or can't be reached?

Ethically, we (therapists) are supposed to have someone available to cover when taking vacations or being away for more than two days. Even then, changing the voicemail and out of office email is just expected.

It's been my sad experience that getting recommendations from people who aren't good at their jobs doesn't tend to lead to people who are good at their jobs.

This is both my personal and professional experience.

Last time I called they asked for criteria, and this time around I was thinking of asking for a therapist who is part of a larger practice with a receptionist. Is that too random?

It might be helpful to think about the kind of work that is most effective for you.

Cognitive Behavior = habit change, thought replacement, homework, proactive

Rational Emotive Therapy = Harder core, personal responsibility, practical solutions

Rogerian = Unconditional positive regard, less directive, more nurturing

Jungian = Tapping into the collective unconscious, archetypes, mystical connections

Analysis = non-directive, free-form talking

Gestalt = Holistic, taking into account all aspects of thought and behavior, personal agency

My clients tend to want quicker practical solution oriented work. Others want less input from the therapist and more 'brain dump' catharsis. Some want convenience, lower stress appointments. That's why alot of my people are phone-only.

Think of what works best for you and see if the insurance company can narrow down their recommendations.

Found this on Twitter [link] Des hommes et des chatons.

Bonny, I want CB, but I want someone who will actually remember they have me homework and actually give me a chance to talk about bit.

Rogerian = Unconditional positive regard, less directive, more nurturing

So what some people need is a good Rogering?

Bonny, I want CB, but I want someone who will actually remember they have me homework and actually give me a chance to talk about bit.

That sounds like the perfect combo to me. The task then, is to interview potentials until you find the one who agrees with you and gives you what you want.

It isn't conflict or aggressive to ask people where their strengths lie.

I'm honestly _relieved_ when potential clients say what they want. It feels just as bad to me to be the wrong helper than I imagine it does to be the person who doesn't feel good about my work.

Found this on Twitter [link] Des hommes et des chatons.

Andi, you just totally made my day.