I had a total agro fit this morning about something work related. Complete with shaking, shortness of breath and spontaneous headache.

As soon as I realized my physical condition, I took many steps back and many deep breaths.

It seemed like everyone was soaking up everyone else's negative energy and I was in the middle of the vortex.

I decided to be the still point in this particular ever-turning world and stepped out of the fray.

Then, a long walk with Cagney, some doggy play, waaaay too much food and a drowsy, unproductive afternoon.

Now, I'm thinking about how soon I can go to bed.

Hitting the resent button.

Tomorrow might be better.

In a lighter note, I can't remember if I mentioned darkening my bedroom over the last week.

It's amazing. For the last 14.5 years, I've woken up every two hours. The last four nights, I've woken up just once per night. JUST ONCE! I can't even believe the difference.

a greater than sign

I LOVE passive aggressiveness. just LOVE it.

I just hope I can get any sleep tonight. Last night was next to nothing. Today when the migraine hit, I took my meds and tried to nap. Got a good doze on, but no actual sleep. The headache hasn't gone away, but I can handle light again.

I haven't changed my FB profile pic cause I'm lazy. Anyone who knows me knows my opinions on equality.

bonny, sleeping in a dark room makes a huge difference! Glad it's helping you. Isn't a full night's sleep AMAZING? I got rid of all the blue and green lights in my bedroom too, replaced with red and amber lights, and that seemed to help with being able to go back to sleep if/when I woke up.

Mental health segue: I'm thinking about going to see a shrink again. I don't want to. I don't want to take medication again. I don't want to do talk therapy again. I don't want to have to. But I'm really depressed and I think maybe I have to.

Zen, I know it's hard. I know there's lots of reasons not to want to do those things. But from your posts the last few months, it sounds like you may need a little help to get back to feeling good. And there's nothing wrong with needing help.

le n, the worst(?) part is that he is probably not opposed to gay marriage. I told him his straight male privilege was hilarious, he referenced the Chris Rock "always having $5 in your pocket" thing, I asked if I could borrow $5.

Isn't a full night's sleep AMAZING?

It's unbelievable. Seriously. I can't even believe the difference. How have I never done this before.

You are right about the lights as well. I've been covering my alarm clock light as well. I figure, in the middle of the night, I don't need to know what time it is. Cuts down on the fretting considerably.

I'm sorry that you feel depressed,Zen. I hope you find a solution that feels good to you, my dear. Or at least, one that is useful...and quick.

erin, at least you didn't change your profile pic to a greater than sign, and then be all blithe about it. As someone on my flist did.

Hahaha! Ok that's kind of hilarious to me. Except anyone on my friends list would be doing it as a "screw equal, we gays are WAY more fabulous than y'all!"

(Well, maybe except the one dude I'm still friends with because he rarely posts political stuff except re: his job changes...he's like, the legislative director for Marco Rubio now. But we don't discuss)

Sorry if you felt bullied, Erin--I didn't change mine either. Like I said, there were a few straight folks on my list who did post it and I was surprised/gratified, but mostly because they were folks I didn't already knew supported it (or strongly supported it).

Yay for a good night's sleep! It is amazing what a difference it makes. I haven't put up my new light-blocking curtains yet; I just have a blanket over the botttom half of my window (need to borrow a ladder). Sometimes I try sleeping with an eye mask on, but I usually end up taking it off.