I approach social planning like it's a zombie outbreak and I'm in Shaun of the Dead.

It's the Abed in me. I need a script.

I'm considered an extravert and I do this too. I am _never_ at a social event without a major bag of coping tricks.

I basically need a script to talk to anyone outside of the Internet. It's a known issue with my neurology.

Which is why pictures at F2Fs of people in the same room, all on laptops, makes me want to cry with tears of joy and fellowship and tribe-ness.

Sometimes it feels like my whole life has been rehearsed before performance.

Well, a script or a metric shitload of booze.

Self-medication! I swear it's a valid lifestyle choice.

Tep, take care of yourself. Make sure Tim knows that all you're telling him is that, well, you are a fucking rock star of taking care of yourself, so that you can both get maximum kink enjoyment this weekend.

Teppy, if Tim is anything like TCG, despite what you said, what he heard was "There is a problem, and you should fix it." So explaining to him that you still want to go and all you wanted to tell him was that you still very much want to go, and like Plei said you just wanted him to know you have a plan in place in case things get too much for you.

I think he really is probably trying to take care of you, and *he* doesn't know how to be helpful. Which makes sense, because sometimes *I* don't know how to be helped, and I would guess you're the same.

He probably is. It just feels like an overreaction to me.

I don't think Tim is abandoning or rejecting you. He hasn't suddenly forgotten about your anxiety. Your heightened sense of shame/wrongness (I'm basing that on the 'mental illness' label you used a couple of times) is natural, given our tendency to pile on everything possible to the pile-o-Ihatethis/myself that anxiety builds.

What he probably HAS done, is gone into his own protective scripts about how to handle not getting something he wanted...ie, super fun time that his beloved finds exactly as enthralling.

And this is probably true, too. He's not being a bad guy. It's just that his overreaction feels like a judgment to me.

And when I read #1, Steph, I think of Tim saying "If we go, Steph won't enjoy herself, and I don't want to go if she doesn't enjoy herself, because I love her and want her to have a good time--how could I have a good time knowing she's unhappy"

Which is probably not an incorrect read of it, but when I'm the one throwing the monkey wrench into things, I feel like I'm ruining his good time.

I don't know if ADHD changes the processing so much that #1 is definitely something that needs to hurt you personally

Actually, the one thing he has never done to me (and, as far as I've known him, to anyone else) is to deliberately be hurtful. I'm not hurt, as much as I'm frustrated with *me*, because I don't want to ruin his good time, and frustrated with him, because it feels like he forgot that things like this make me anxious. But frustrated /= hurt. (Is that the right symbol for "does not equal"?)

I approach social planning like it's a zombie outbreak and I'm in Shaun of the Dead.

Oh, I am chock FULL of coping mechanisms for this weekend.

It's the Abed in me. I need a script.

I pretty much always need help reacting to things.

I should have made a t-shirt, though, that says, "Do NOT Hug Me Or I Will Kneecap You."

Well, you *could* try telling everyone you and he are into serious 24-hour lifestyle play, and he is the only one who is allowed to touch you, unless he decides otherwise. And then if you want to do a scene with someone, you say "Tim has said I"m allowed to be touched by you..." :)

I should have made a t-shirt, though, that says, "Do NOT Hug Me Or I Will Kneecap You."

DO IT! DO IT!

I love meara's idea. It fits with the culture and maintains your control over your own needs.

Good one.

And this is probably true, too. He's not being a bad guy. It's just that his overreaction feels like a judgment to me.

He's never a bad guy but I can totally see why the reaction felt like judgement.