Sparky, thanks for the update.

I hate Samsung and Staples right now.

sj, I'm sorry you're so frustrated with the computer thing. Seems pretty ridiculous. And good on ya for calling your doctor.

Nora, somewhere in my brain I knew that they weren't all on Mardi Gras. But don't "we" watch at 8th and St. Charles?

Thank you so much, Sparky and Toddson. I'm so glad we have local people. And thanks to Steph, too. I hope bonny is well enough to go home tonight.

Thanks Smonster. I know it is such a first world problem, but Samsung has been so unprofessional and at this point all I want to know is when I might get my computer back.

I am deeply stressed by some huge relationship drama that's arisen among the 2 couples that are our closest friends. Basically, Husband of friendcouple #1 and Boyfriend of friendcouple #2 have wanted to hook up for months (friendcouple #2 is poly; friendcouple #1 is not). They were upfront about it, and Wife of friendcouple #1 was not cool with them hooking up, and said that if it was something Husband really wanted to pursue, then they could get a divorce. Husband said no, his marriage is too important, so even though what he REALLY wanted was both Wife and Boyfriend, he would pick Wife over Boyfriend. (This was maybe 2 months ago.)

Wife texted me last night to tell me she just found out that Husband and Boyfriend have ACTUALLY been sleeping together all along, and Husband says he's gay now. She is understandably upset and pissed that Husband lied to her (not about his sexuality; about sleeping with Boyfriend).

I feel terrible for Wife, and just shocked beyond words that Boyfriend would do this -- he and I are really good friends, and we've talked several times about his views on being poly, chief among them is that EVERYONE is all on board with what happens. So I'm just shocked he'd carry on behind Wife's back. (His own girlfriend has known about it all along and is fine with it. So basically, Wife was the only one in the dark, which is shitty upon shitty.)

I'm upset that someone I like so much would do such a shitty thing.

And then there's the part where I feel like I have ZERO moral high ground to even make any value judgment, since I have been there and been the person who has sexytimes with someone behind their spouse's back.

So my brain is an awesome place to be right now. I would just like to be able to own my opinion that what Boyfriend and Husband did (the going-behind-Wife's-back part) SUCKS without my inner critic saying, "Really? After what YOU did, you think you have ANY right to feel that way? Hypocrite."

Argggh.

But you've grown and changed since then so you aren't actually the same person who did that. I believe this 100%, but don't think I could stop the judgmental voices in my head either. Still, it's a HUGE situation to deal with.

But you've grown and changed since then so you aren't actually the same person who did that.

I keep telling myself that. And I keep telling myself that life is full of contradictions, and contradictions aren't (necessarily) hypocrisy. But I'm not having an easy time with the contradictions right now.

Wow, that is a crappy situation.

But don't "we" watch at 8th and St. Charles?

I honestly can't recall, I definitely remember one year being camped out kitty corner from the Grocery, which is at 6th. I just wander the neutral ground uptown from Washington till I find my peeps. Or meet new ones.

But you've grown and changed since then so you aren't actually the same person who did that. I believe this 100%, but don't think I could stop the judgmental voices in my head either. Still, it's a HUGE situation to deal with.

What Scrappy, as usual, Said.

It's a really shitty situation and I feel sympathy for the Wife. Not that Husband realized he's gay, but cheating especially in this situation where the topic was broached and quashed is uncool.

It is the discussion and then ignoring the discussion that makes it bad.

As much as I don' t get affairs - I get that they happen. It is what feels like a fake attempt to include wife in the decision. I imagine that she feels everything he says was. A lie.