Steph, that is funny.

askye, she looks like she's critiquing her manicure.

I think I'm not so much calm as numb. I think I might need to talk to my doc about upping my Zoloft. All I want to do is curl up in bed, forever. I guess it's some combo of holiday stress, money stress (now with added car stress), SAD, and my normal depression? I don't know, but I am feeling on the edge of cracking. It's also possible that the Zoloft is just losing effectiveness.

Hrmph. Do not like.

{{{smonster}}} I'm sorry. Any word yet on how bad the car is?

It's also possible that the Zoloft is just losing effectiveness.

What dose are you taking?

Steph, 100 mg.

sj, the shop isn't open until Monday. Thank god my insurance covers towing and a rental.

I just told D all the above - we're about to go to the baby shower. I think I'll take a bit of Xanax when we get there.

{{{smonster}}} do you have a light box thingey for the SAD?

Steph, 100 mg.

IIRC, 200 mg is the upper limit for Zoloft, so you might just need a higher dose. Which is better, IMO, than the possibility of the drug pooping out. Although that does certainly happen.

Also, go Team Xanax! We're going to a big Christmas party tonight, and I am going to need a couple of beers to chill out enough to deal with it. Loud, exuberant people (which, hey, it's a party -- I don't expect it to be a library), most of whom have WAY different boundaries than I do, in terms of being touchy-feely. I don't even want to sit on "Naughty Santa's" lap, which makes me feel like a hysyterical prude buzzkill.

(Naughty Santa is a friend, not some random creepy dude, but I prefer a 50-foot personal bubble, and don't want to sit on his lap. Part of that is also comes from Fat Girl Fear that I'll sit on his lap and he'll be appalled by my mighty holiday ass. But most of it is my 50-foot personal bubble.)

(Tim suggested I just tell Naughty Santa earlier in the evening that, while I appreciate the Santa shenanigans, I won't be sitting on his lap because of my personal bubble issues. That way when the whole Naughty Santa shenanigans take place, I can decline without him saying "Come on, everyone is sitting on Santa's lap!" and me needing to decline 2 more times [which is what happened at last year's party, and talk about embarrassing and infurating -- like me saying "No, thank you" the first time isn't 100% clear to anyone who speaks English?].)

(And perhaps I need a beer right now. Sheesh.)

I have also wondered if my AD is crapping out, but it seems like such a terrible time of year to try and figure it out. Plus we have job stress with associated potential moving stress.

Fuck cancer. I just found out that the mom of a high school friend has Stage 4 breast cancer. This is her second bout of breast cancer and her third bout of cancer. She's not going to fight it.

Fuck cancer indeed, that's awful :( Really not a good time right now, is it?

Oh, sj, that is beyond awful.

Do not have a light box - not sure it would help. I mean, I work outside all day long.

Am at shower. Took half a Xanax, feel somewhat better. Or I did, the anxiety seems to be creeping back now.

Steph, talking to the guy ahead of time seems like a good plan.