Reading all of this makes me appreciate my family so much. It's not perfect by any means, but any body issues I had/have were self-taught (or taught by society). And I have seen pics or met all of you and you are all beautiful people! I hate that anyone has to view themselves through the eyes of an abusive family member/SO/etc. Oh, and FTR, I have great breasts! Hahahahahaha!

ION, I am just so bone weary. I'm seriously considering going back on my ADs just because I can't face life this sleep deprived. I stayed off ADs during my first pregnancy and it wasn't that bad. This time I can't sleep for half the night because of my pregnancy and I can't sleep for the other half because of my toddler. I am not feeling happy or like I have any patience or anything lately. Honestly, if I could just get some decent sleep, I think everything would change. But that is going to get worse before it gets better. I really want to be AD free during pregnancy, but I don't know if I can go another 5 months like this.

Maybe sleeping pills instead, GC? I hear there are some that are pregnancy-ok

Maybe sleeping pills would help, but I'd feel guilty leaving all of the nighttime parenting to DW (thought honestly, she is doing about 95% of it currently). We've been talking about buying a toddler or twin bed to put next to our bed for Shane. She mentioned we should go ahead and get a twin and then if S doesn't use it, I can bail out in the night and sleep in it. Maybe that's something to try. All I know is something's gotta give.

GC,

you might find this a wacky suggestion, but would you try acupuncture? You need to go to someone experienced, and someone who knows you are pregnant, but I bet that could help with your sleeping issues.

Pregnancy Yoga might help too.

I actually have done acupuncture before and found it to be super relaxing. The woman I went to was great. Maybe I should contact her and see what she says. My only reservation is that it's not cheap, and when I went due to back pain during my first pregnancy, it didn't help long-term. I'd be pain-free during the session and for a little while after, but usually the pain was back within 24 hours. Sigh.

GC, I think everyone has to do what works for them, but I have an extra bed in my bedroom. It lets me have some space and get some sleep. I was just talking to my mom this weekend about converting my "dining room" into a sort of office because we never use the dining room. My point to her was that houses are designed with specific mandated uses for the rooms, but I shouldn't feel required to make my home look "like it's supposed to." Hence, the second bed in the bedroom. It looks weird and it took me a bit to get over that, but it works very well for me getting the best sleep, which is important.

eta: since le n mentioned yoga, there is an app (I can't remember if you are an iphone person but i'm thinking yes? anyway...) the app has all sorts of pregnancy yoga videos. I found it to be incredibly relaxing and great with aches and pains when I was pregnant with Sammy. I bet you could find it by looking under "pregnancy yoga Tara Lee" on the App store.

Thanks everyone.

I know Dad loves me and supports me. I try to remind myself that it's his issue not mine. And I'm grateful he's never said anything about the weight gain caused by the medication.

GC you could also look into community acupuncture--that's where I've gone. Still not cheap, but cheaper. And if DW is doing most of the nighttime parenting anyway, heck, if you sleep better you can handle daytime much better than you are, right?

Who else is dreaming of $425 million?

Meara, I just saw that the Sisters of Mercy have a good-sized program in Asbury Park. Mercy Center might be a good charity if you haven't picked one yet. People I trust to do good work are pimpin' them. [link]

Breasts are just a universal good. Big ones, small ones, they feel nice, they look nice, I want a world where we all enjoy our breasts. Even our LACK of breasts. My one Aunt who had a double mastectomy and is a particularly conservative person. When they did her reconstruction she didn't just get aerolae tattooed on, she got a rose trellis too. It's beautiful. I saw an old family friend a few years ago and she was saying that her partner had a double and opted to NOT reconstruct. She'd been particularly busty (to the extent that caused discomfort) and was delighting in running around shirtless. "If I'm with someone I yell, 'Charo, put on a SHRT!' as I open the front door."

And here is prayer stuff for the Sisters of Mercy [link]