Nope, never touched nose candy. And yeah a nosebleed you have to have cauterized counts. It is just that if this was an ouch contest I would totally lose. And probably be in the bottom 20%. I'm not saying it is right. I'm saying if it were not for the FPC I would not have been able to post about it. The weird thing, and I'm totally not saying it is rational, a diamond shoes too tight thing is something I can post about. Cause that is so part of Spike's Bitches culture that I would not think twice. But real pain that does not represent major suffering? For that I need ghd FPC. We all, well most of us, have our neurosis. This is one of mine.

Yeah, but when people are posting about potential death and major pain and suffering and true financial crisis I feel like I need to acknowledge that somehow if I'm going to post about a nose bleed. If it were not for being able to invoke the FPC I'd feel completely insensitive for bitching about anything not on that scale.

It's not insensitive to have the problems that you ("you" = "anybody") have. Everyone's problems are real, and valid, no matter the (perceived) scale.

I really don't think anyone here has ever fallen into the trap of "Oh, your loved one has cancer? That's NOTHING compared to my hangnail!" Seriously. This is not a place where insensitivity runs rampant.

Or maybe I'm just saying that because *I'm* the insensitive bastard.

I get both perspective on FPC, but I kinda like it for myself, because I feel like I bitch here a LOT; people are always supportive, but sometimes the stuff I am bitching about, the FTP is more a reminder to me to, well, invoke FPC on self to regain FP.

I bitch, I calm, I get feedback and help self gain equilibrium.

I see it more as a helpful mental reminder to emodump here, where it's safe, take a breath, feel what I'm feeling, and then examine it through a calmer lens.

But I see Brenda, Tep and Jilli's therapists points quite clearly. I think, like most things, it can be a tool for good or evil, depending on how it's used, so to speak.

Again, my personal take on it, which certainly isn't trying to take away to negate anyone else's reaction to it.

Also? Jilli -- sweetheart, you are a lovely person who has had a decidely unlovely, stressful and heartbreaking year. (Expect a little less stress on the ho-hunting (oh, damn, funny typo -- JOB hunting!) front in your inbox tomorrow/ Sunday.

You are delightful, inspiring, smart, hard-working, creative, a positive role model, and altogether just a lovely, lovely human. I know -- I KNOW! -- it doesn't feel like it right now, but trust me; someone is right on the intenet and it's us, about you.

Much sincere love. Check your inbox.

Or maybe I'm just saying that because *I'm* the insensitive bastard.

No, you're not. But you are the yardstick I use when buying ibuprofen. Um, because I bought 2,000 the other day. And 600 Benedryl.

The FPC to me is not an apology. It is a way to acknowledge I'm posting about a problem on a smaller scale than other problems discussed here. By invoking FPC, I'm avoiding the need to apologize. And if you are in better mental health in that area than I am and don't need to invoke the FPC clause go you! But it is really helpful to me.

Yeah, for me it's a way to say without having to spell it out, "Look, I am aware that in the global scheme of things, this is is just a duck nibble, but fuck it, this particular duck nibble has worked my last nerve, and I'm going to flip like a mammal now."

(I actually find the FPC less grating than the diamond shoes are too tight disclaimer, honestly.)

No you are not insensitive. Again the need for an FPC is not something I defend rationally. It just is a way around a mental health issue for me. I will just say I failed to complain about a lot of stuff on bitches over the years because we did not have it. The invention of the FPC let me start bitching on bitches again. If invocation of FPC bothers people that much I won't invoke it again. And next time I have a nosebleed or am worn out because everything I like to do in the world hurts due to various minor medical conditions I just won't mention it.

(I actually find the FPC less grating than the diamond shoes are too tight disclaimer, honestly.)

Yep, me too. I also prefer it over "first world problems".

Maybe I've missed it but I don't think anyone has invoked the clause while talking abut cancer? I could be wrong but I would think I'd notice something like that. And just from my perspective, invoking it is not diminishing the problems of one's self or other's.

Part of it, for me, is that my usual support network has been having an extra-shittastic time of it the last several months, and as a lot of them are HERE, I like the freedom of saying, "FPC. IF YOU FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SHIT GOING ON, I WILL HOGTIE YOU AND DRAG YOU TO A GUILT-REMOVAL FACTORY, OH YES!"

So it's multiuse. I mean, I'm of the age now, and my extended family is of the age, where there are going to be duck nibbles daily. And I want to vent, or primal scream, without people feeling like they need to do much more than agree that, yep, that duck bite was NOT what I needed on a Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Whateverday.