Hil, did you hear back from your doctor?

Not yet. But I was only able to send him a message at about 5:30 tonight, so I probably won't hear back until tomorrow.

{{{smonster}}}

{{{Hil}}} Feel better.

{{{smonster}}} You haven't been dumping. Seasonal depression sucks and it only gets worse when you aren't feeling well on top of it. I hope things begin to look up soon.

I've been as supportive and non-needy as I can possibly be, but I think I'm running out of anything to give. Don't feel like I'm getting much of anything. It's been four months since our first date, and I feel less connected to him now than ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry, smonster. It does sound like you need to make some tough decisions soon. Which sucks.

Oh smonster, I'm so sorry, about all of it. But yeah, I would say, if the relationship is no longer giving you what you need, it's time to be honest with him about that. I won't lie, I hope he takes it as a wake-up call and decides to be a better boyfriend, but I don't know how likely that is, just based on what you've told us about him and his hesitations (not to mention his major time commitments). But I'm hoping for a good outcome.

Have you found a therapist in NOLA?

{{smonster}} I'm sorry you're not getting much from StW, and the SAD and not feeling well on top of everything.

I was a big girl and walked to the local dollar general with Aidan and Kara this afternoon to pick up generic play dough type stuff so Kara could make an extra credit habitat for science. Of course, she has a high B in science. It's social studies and math she's got D's in--she doesn't like them. Still, willing to do extra credit, yay! I am exhausted, but it was worth it. She made a raccoon with a six pack ring thingy around its neck sitting by a polluted stream with dead fish on the banks, accompanied by a fallen birds' nest (with dead parent bird and smushed eggs) and a black squirrel with its head stuck in a can. She was loving all the destruction (man's abuse of animal habitats is the theme, if that wasn't obvious). Aidan is jealous of her habitat making skills.

On the way to the store, Aidan ran away from me, very far, actually, but I was able to get some random teenagers to chase him down and bring him back. They were very nice. I told him he scared me, and he apologized nicely and held my hand all the way to the store.

smonster, I hope you find some joy tomorrow, and more the tomorrow after that.

If the flylady website is rearranged, I might try it again. I got pissed off at putting on my shoes (so childish!) when I looked at it before. I don't wear shoes. Like ever. My feet can't breathe in shoes. Still, childish. I count dressed as having both a shirt and pants on.

love you guys

That sounds more like an uninhabitat.

smonster, sorry things are so tough.

I got pissed off at putting on my shoes (so childish!)

She still insists on that, but I am very good at ignoring what isn't useful for me. (And some stuff that IS, unfortunately.)

Grinning at Kara's habitat destruction. Aidan! Don't do that!!

I totally ignore the shoe thing. I think the takeaway is not to slounge in pjs all day every day - it's like wearing a bra for a phone interview, like Erin said.

Just admitting to y'all gave me the energy to scoop the cat pans and spend 1/2 hr updating my budget software. I'm not done with that, but it's 15 minutes more than I planned to do. I love a timer.

Have you found a therapist in NOLA?

I have a referral to someone, but haven't made an appointment yet. My NC therapist does phone sessions, so I could totally arrange one with him, but I can't afford it right now. I suck at the monies, really having a hard time adjusting to having less discretionary income. Need to implement long term austerity measures. I do okay for a while, and then I get all pissy and whiny and order takeout or buy stuff. I spent way more for Halloween than I should have, despite getting most of my costume in thrift stores. I get kind of obsessive with costumes.

In the new redesign Fly Lady goes into more detail about shining the sink and wearing shoes.

The basics were - she had a work from home job where she had to get fully dressed, evidently people you talk to on the phone can hear if you are "profesional" and fully dressed vs just in your pjs.

Also it's harder to kick your feet up and it makes you "ready for anything".

Plus she wore shoes all the time 2 summers ago and it totally helped her feet.

She even says to get lace up shoes to wear only inside if you don't normally wear shoes inside because of mud and dirt.

I'm modifying the wearing lace up shoes to be changing clothes completely from pajamas.