Yay baby yay!

My body has an evil sense of humor. It decided that today was a good day to let me know that no, I'm not pregnant yet.

Oh, I am sorry, sj. That's just cruel timing.

{{{sj}}} I'm sorry. I hope the next cycle is The One for you.

Thanks. We have ordered pizza for dinner, and I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to go meet the new baby on Thursday.

Ugh sj, I don't miss the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant. Good luck to you, and congratulations to your cousin!

Thanks, Burrell. I've always had pretty bad pms and bad first days of my period, and I just wasn't prepared for how much all of that was going to be amplified by trying to get pregnant. Add to that a summer where I have been invited to no less than three baby showers, and everyone I know seems to be pregnant. I need to learn to chill out.

Yeah, the monthly guessing game is a big stressor.

Dear Universe - your sense of humor sucks sometimes. You might want to look to that.

So D invited me to spend the night last night, at which point I gave a long spiel about how it's hard for me to share a bed, and my back hurts, and I have a dog, and all these things require advance planning... and of course I ended up spending the night and only getting a few hours of sleep (mostly due to hip pain. mostly). Note to self - do not bike to D's on week nights, you will be too damn tired to bike home. And then you have to bike home at 5 am in last night's clothes and a borrowed hoodie.

It was a nice evening. He continues to be sweet and considerate and intelligent and usually funny, although his deadpan sarcasm is pretty relentless. We talked a lot about relationships and sex and stuff; we listened to Regina Spektor and Leonard Cohen. He asked about my tattoo and I about his (I could see a bit peeking out of his t-shirt sleeve. His tattoo is a portrait of Nina Simone based on this album cover - [link]

Unsurprisingly, I was stupid tired all day today. Fortunately, it was just me and E and we were painting. I kept myself going by telling embarassing stories about myself and my many ill-fated crushes and such, and at one point I literally fell on the floor laughing at a story she told. Yay for awesome coworkers. I kept finding new levels of tired throughout the day; babbling overcaffeinated tired, nearly dozing off on the toilet tired, stuttering tired, losing the will to live tired... I really honestly truly don't know what I would do if I had insomnia on a regular basis.

And all that is why I am eating cinnamon babke and an apple for dinner, and plan to be asleep by 8:15 pm. I've been going on only six hours of sleep or so for a week now, and it's time to start catching up.

Nora... what are y'all up to this weekend besides your birthday? Maybe we can find a time for y'all to meet D?

So now it's looking like my grandfather isn't going to be able to take possession of my grandmother's ashes in Florida until september 30 or so, which means I probably won't be in michigan until the beginning of october. Don't know if I'm going to be able to make Tim's funeral or not. But I don't know the status of his arrangements yet, either. It's only been about 24 hours, and I know it takes a while to pull all this together.