Ha! How sneaky.

Maybe he's just weeding out the ones who couldn't find him and the ones who wouldn't dare? Maybe I'm giving him too much credit. Maybe he's just lazy. I'm actually okay with it either way.

Pursuant to the previous conversation re: sex, after thinking about it, I've realized that I'm totally comfortable in a relationship/situation where I'm the more sexually aggressive one. Apparently it's not either sex or men I fear, it's sexual demands. Someone pursuing me frightens me on an instinctive level; I shut down and want to pull away. If I'm allowed to take charge, I'm more likely to want it.

So although it certainly doesn't mean his approach will translate to any other pursuit, Wink Man has taken the perfect approach to catching and keeping my interest: he's letting/encouraging me to pursue him. He's set up the pieces and let me play the game.

However this plays out, I've learned something valuable about myself.

erika, yikes. Teenagers.

But after I Followed him, he replied, saying "glad giving my name worked!"

Oh, super sneaky.

I've realized that I'm totally comfortable in a relationship/situation where I'm the more sexually aggressive one. Apparently it's not either sex or men I fear, it's sexual demands. Someone pursuing me frightens me on an instinctive level; I shut down and want to pull away. If I'm allowed to take charge, I'm more likely to want it.

Oh, man. I have such a knot in my gut reading that. That was one of the absolutely most incrediblly awesome things about StW; I have never felt so safe and so respected and such a whole *person* during sex. Not that I always took the lead, but just how often he would check in with me, would stop on a dime if I asked, apologized if he even accidentally made me uncomfortable at all. I was really like, "Holy SHIT. People like this exist?!?! Sex can be this good?"

Damn, I miss that.

However this plays out, I've learned something valuable about myself.

Very cool! And a good thing to be conscious of, both the lesson and the learning.

I heard back from Z after another text. He says he's still processing. He's coming over for dinner and we're going to the movie with Nora and Tom.

Right, now to see how much I can get done in the realms of cleaning and work in an hour.

"Holy SHIT. People like this exist?!?! Sex can be this good?" Damn, I miss that.

I'm sorry, smonster! But glad you discovered the grail. Now you have a benchmark for other partners!

Direct messages received from Wink Man; actual conversation now happening. He used to be a priest, became an atheist after working in Rome. Whoa. I need to meet this guy just to hear this whole story.

I'm sorry, smonster!

No, no! It was the gut knot of recognition and empathy.

Now you have a benchmark for other partners!

Indeed.

He sounds interesting, certainly!

Fuck, I need a time-turner. I'd just waste the extra time though anyway, probably.

We had an actor like that. Lived in Vatican City for awhile. Now, not so religous. But a HUGE Shakespeare expert. Didn't really want to talk about his Vatican days. Shame. Great guy. Great actor too!

He used to be a priest, became an atheist after working in Rome. Whoa. I need to meet this guy just to hear this whole story.

No lie. I want to know his story, too.

Oh, no, what if I'm not intellectual enough for him?! He's talking about structuralism! I had to look it up! Fuck, the language of intellectual discourse is 30 years past for me. If only he wanted to talk about whether they should include The Wasp and Ant-Man in the next Avengers movie! Oh, dear.

You may get somebody like Hubby, who knows a whole lot about an awful lot and loves to lecture. I can ask intelligent questions and I'm often interested in the discussion, but a lot of times I'm partly daydreaming and mostly enjoying his spicy brains.

How long are we supposed to keep DMing before one of us can suggest getting coffee? I already did, which seems to be what started this. I guess it's up to me.