A friend just heard from her, so she's alive. We're trying to figure out further details.

Thank you all.

Glad to hear it, Shir.

Thank you, me too. And now I get to kill her for the heart attack.

So, uh, Nora? Got someone I'd like you to meet.

Right on! Well, on Friday night there's a cask ale crawl between the Avenue and the Irish House. maybe we can hang out for that in a casual style, or do something else, whatever works.

Being around a smoker when you're trying to quit is super hard, that sucks. But you're right, not much to be done about it.

The morning thunderstorms are making it very hard to get up and at 'em this weekend. Did make it out to my volunteer shift for White Linen Night last night but will probably not go downtown for Satchmo Fest.

Glad your friend has been found, Shir.

Want to know how P-C's night went!

Ryan is such a handsome boy! And Mei Mei is pretty darling too. I love how proud you are of him.

Aw. I really am. I'm proud that he can say 'Triceratops'. (Kind of proud that he reads a picture of two T-rexes advancing on a triceratops as them all being friends who have adventures together.) I'm proud that he's just about got the hang of this toilet training lark. And most of all I'm proud that he genuinely cares about others. He has a kind heart, this boy.

When we were in Hawaii there was a long conversation with Cody's aunts and uncles about whether or not our generation of parents are more permissive. I said I didn't think so, at least not necessarily, because I tend to model a lot of my parenting on how I was raised. I wasn't hit or spanked, or at least if I was it was rarely enough that I don't remember a single incident. And believe me, the no spanking thing is what they meant when they said we were more permissive because then they went into long memories of being beaten with belts and hiding from their fathers and such. But to me, the big difference in how we are raising kids now is the much more active and involved role the fathers play, fathers really invested in raising their kids and being a good father to them. Tons of those dads here on this board. And I think that's all win.

Agree completely. I know that, comparing the time I can spend with Ryan to the time my dad could spend with his kids, I feel I got the much better deal. (I have great respect and admiration for my father, of course, who is one of the most accomplished and principled men I know. My parents were not just great parents, but great role models.)

The other father whose praises I shall sing is Biyi's father. I don't think I know any other father who's been so selfless in his devotion to his family. He held them all together when Biyi's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. He did the same when Biyi's older sister died of asthma. All while excelling in his own profession, dealing with the strictures of living in Communist China, including through the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution, and accepting and embracing the choices of his daughter in living her own life. And now he's a devoted grandfather to Ryan. I don't know how he can live through all that with no bitterness.

Ryan is just the luckiest little boy. He has two remarkable grandfathers.

I know several fathers whose entire lives really revolve around parenting.

This made me tear up a little. It's the most wonderful thing.

Ryan is such a cutie pie! As is his cousin. I love how joyful he always seems to be in his photos.

This made me tear up a little. It's the most wonderful thing.

Me too.

Shir, I'm so glad you heard from your friend!

smonster, any chance you could mention to him that you're trying to quit and it would help you if he didn't smoke around you? Or would that come off as too holier-than-thou?

billytea, Ryan really is a lucky little boy. I love hearing you talk about Biyi's family; it's clear that they're wonderful people and that you love them a great deal.

And I know a bunch of dads of my generation (and many on this board) who are totally focused on their kids and on being great parents. I think it's very much the norm among my friends and family. Which makes me feel really lucky to be raising a kid right now.

Oh, Shir, thank heavens. Glad she's okay.

Nora, that could work! Will check with him.

Being around a smoker when you're trying to quit is super hard, that sucks. But you're right, not much to be done about it.

smonster, any chance you could mention to him that you're trying to quit and it would help you if he didn't smoke around you? Or would that come off as too holier-than-thou?

Oh, I wasn't clear. I'm still rocking along no problem with my e-cig. I just meant from a long-term perspective on his health.

No time to look at Ryan pics now, but have marked post for later cuteness binging.

But to me, the big difference in how we are raising kids now is the much more active and involved role the fathers play, fathers really invested in raising their kids and being a good father to them. Tons of those dads here on this board. And I think that's all win.

Absolutely.

Want to know how P-C's night went!

Well, she's making me breakfast right now...

Yeah, no.

It was fun, although the gender balance was wonky as fuck because seven or eight women paid and never showed up, so there were, I think, six women for the twenty-some-odd men. And I do mean odd, as there were a couple of those incredibly socially awkward nerds that were a little uncomfortable to talk to. Most of the guys seemed pretty normal, though. And one guy was really hot, which didn't seem fair. (They said that because the gender balance was wonky, we could come to the next event for free.)

There was an icebreaker during registration, Nerd Bingo, where you tried to fill out your Bingo card by finding people who fulfilled certain categories like "Has written fan fiction" or "Knows at least 3 different programming languages." This was basically the only one-on-one time, and it did give everyone an excuse to talk to each other and learn things.

The first girl to walk in had a Hec-approved haircut, and now that it wasn't all guys, we could begin our Bingo game in earnest. We looked at our Bingo cards and tried to figure out what the most strategic row, column, or diagonal to go for would be. What could we do for each other? I asked if anyone was adamantly opposed to the Kindle—

"Yes," she said. But then she noticed that it also said Nook, and she had a Nook. It was about being adamantly opposed to eReaders in general.

"I was," I said, "until I got a Kindle."

"Me too!" she said, and touched my elbow. Was it unconscious? Was it flirting? Was it friendly? I DIDN'T KNOW.

As we went around trying to fill out our cards, we discovered that we were the only two people in the room who would admit to crying when Dobby died. Since we were both going for the diagonal with that space, I gave her that one (you could only use each person once), and I switched her twice because that was the space I needed from her most. Even after we got our Bingo, we continued trying to fill up our boards since it was an excuse to talk to people.

Then they had a little competition to see who was the biggest nerd, and two guys walked away with plastic lightsabers. Then it was time for games! They suggested we sit boy-girl-boy-girl, which...wasn't really possible. They had to seed the tables with ringers (the organizers); one table actually only had one eligible woman.

The gaming was fun, although I didn't really feel like I got to know people that much better. A little, but not a lot. I was at the same table as Princess Dobbycry for BuzzWords, which took us about ten minutes to figure out how to play properly (and they hadn't taken the cards out of the shrinkwrap or anything, which was irritating). At te next table was a girl I thought was cute but hadn't gotten to talk to much during the icebreakers and didn't talk to much during the game either since it was Telestrations, which we did enjoy because I am terrible at drawing things (it was fun to hear the girl next to exclaim, "WHAT!" every time I handed her a new drawing). And then I broke out Zombie Dice because we didn't have time to play another round before the interstitial trivia. I gave my Improv Mad Libs Apples to Apples performance at the table full of ringers, so that didn't work out. But out of the three games I played, that was the one where your personality really came out. They were playing Werewolves over at Table 1 (with Princess Dobbycry), and I think that was also probably a better game for getting to know people.

At the end, they had a drawing from the completed Bingo cards for the grand prize, which was Telestrations. And the winner was....Princess Dobbycry! They reminded us that they didn't do any matchmaking themselves, but no one had the room reserved after them, so we were free to hang out.

I congratulated Princess Dobbycry on her prize, which she knew nothing about, and explained what it was. We chatted about Werewolves and Mafia. One of the organizers said that if she wanted to play it, they could clear one of the tables, so she (continued...)