(seriously why aren't we allowed to give up more? Right--she gave up)

A valid question, in my opinion. Her life no doubt improved after she gave up; she went home to her grandma who thought she was an angel and she probably got time and breathing space to get her shit back together. Or not, I don't know, but it had to be better. I still have a few of her old possessions, just in case I ever hear from her again.

I think we can give up. But by giving up, she seriously inconvenienced Zenkitty. Couldn't she have given up 6 months prior and left a serviceable house? Walk away but don't leave feces a foot deep.

If it had just been boxes of papers, I think Zenkitty would have been pissed, but she probably wouldn't have sat on the porch step crying.

Old hairballs are of the ick, but in the "can happen to anyone (who has a cat. I presume tropical fish owners don't have that issue)" category. My mom's house got so bad that she giggled about how clever the dog was to cover her own crap in the layers of animal hair that lined the floors so that it was much easier to clean up when they found it. If they found it.

Yeah, in general, I think it's really difficult to "give up" without it being a huge burden for someone else. So in general, I'm of the "take care of your own crap" mindset. I say this as someone who has had to clean up after more than person who "gave up" and another person (my late grandfather) who didn't have a choice because dementia had rendered him incapable.

That's what keeps me from saying "Fuck it," because there's no one around me to carry the load, so I'd have to deal with it anyway.

I think we can give up. But by giving up, she seriously inconvenienced Zenkitty. Couldn't she have given up 6 months prior and left a serviceable house? Walk away but don't leave feces a foot deep. If it had just been boxes of papers, I think Zenkitty would have been pissed, but she probably wouldn't have sat on the porch step crying.

I did wish she'd left before she made such a huge mess, but maybe she only got the strength to move when she knew I was coming back. I strongly suspect she just couldn't face me. It happens when it happens. I know the timing of my choices/breakdowns has inconvenienced other folks, so, y'know... karma.

yeah, I know what you mean. there's inconvenience - like being kinda messy. But then there's INCONVENIENCE where you want to burn down the house. I just think since you were friends that she could have found some kind of way, even breaking the lease early so you didn't have to deal with ALL of that.

You have an appropriately adult perspective on all of this.

My shit still would be lost.

Oh! I was reading through old COMMs just yesterday and came across this one!

I _knew_ I'd told it here, but could not for the life of me tell you where to find it.

Speaking of finding things, billytea, I posted a question over in Unamerican that is relevant to my own interests in your country. However, additional research would suggest that I am hosed on this issue.

Has anyone purchased music, legally, from another country?

I'd like to buy some stuff by Joe Moore, who is currently appearing on Australia's Got Talent...in fact, given the time difference, he may already have won this evening. If he does not win...he will have been robbed!

Anyway, I can get clips from the shows easily on youtube, but cannot buy the music through US itunes. Which seems ironic, but anyway.

Since we're still on the general topic, anyone have advice on how to clean the aforementioned papers I need? It was only partially a hairball. These are, like, tax records from 2010, or I'd have chucked them and wiped the table and done.

Zen, you are truly worthy of that name. Wow.

I am playing Words with Friends game and could have gotten a high score spelling the word "dyke". I didn't because the woman I am playing is gay I did not want to offend her.

Hey, I would high five you for it, but YMMV. Also, sometimes it doesn't let you make "objectionable" words

Zen, that is disgusting. At least my fathers hoarding tendencies (and my mother to some extent) are just junk and papers and such. Or maybe boxed or canned food. But nothing GROSS, just annoying to think of dealing with if/when they move or die. Wow.