Oof, good luck to you! *hugs again, just because*

I should add that I actually think it would be very different going to a shower for someone I’m really close to -- most of the ones I’ve struggled with have been family and people I’m not as close to, which makes the forced frivolity harder to deal with for me.

Yeah, that would help. I was 8 when my sister got married, and I was out of touch with her and with my BFF when their babies were born, so all the showers I've gone to have been for casual and work friends.

Hil, my grandmother instilled in me a similar superstition, but about *everything*. That if you talk too much about something you love or want, or you're too "proud" of something, you'll lose it because God will take it away from you.

Zen, her God sounds like a bastard.

I thought that was a Lutheran thing. (of course, maybe you are.) I think I might send out "It's a Novel!" announcements since I don't think I'll ever get married or breed.

Zen, her God sounds like a bastard.

He was. His followers talked a lot about love and comfort and forgiveness, but they never actually showed any.

I thought that was a Lutheran thing. (of course, maybe you are.)

It was a Presbyterian congregation, but I've been told other Presbyterians aren't as hellfire-and-brimstone as we were. I know nothing of the Lutheran tradition.

I think I might send out "It's a Novel!" announcements since I don't think I'll ever get married or breed.

You should absolutely do that.

seems like a better idea thanCarrie Bradshaw marrying herself.(Although, when I first saw that, I hadn't been soaked by family members for weddings and baby gifts yet.Without getting anything much from that whole side of the family, either,) Not that it's quid pro quo or anything, but you feel me, right? Like the one time I hear in, like, *six years*, there's a registry attached...they were kids when I got out of college, so of course, off the hook, and that makes sense, but, really? A gift-fishing invite to your SSI cousin? Well, you know, lots of tough Scandinavians farming in cold climates...I'm sure you can feel the warm fuzzies from here,or...Garrison Keillor is pretty accurate in his Lutheran descriptions.

I think it's a basic Puritan thing, that if you really want something material or "frivolous", that it will be very character building when you don't get it. I've seen dozens of shows where the protagonist is yearning and working for something, only to lose it at the last minute. I think it's part of some perverse "don't long for better things, be content with what you have" thing.

I should add that I actually think it would be very different going to a shower for someone I’m really close to

Yeah. My "No more baby showers" rule is conditional. If my pseudo-sibling's wife becomes pregnant? I will be at that shower with glee.

if you really want something material or "frivolous", that it will be very character building when you don't get it.

Sometimes people have tried to use that "logic" on me. I answer with, "Really? You think I need more character?"

You could be a Toon!

I think it's a basic Puritan thing, that if you really want something material or "frivolous", that it will be very character building when you don't get it.

Makes sense, but I don't think it was a character-building thing for this congregation. It was a punishment for the sin of pride and love of/desiring material objects.

I've seen dozens of shows where the protagonist is yearning and working for something, only to lose it at the last minute.

I HATE that trope.