You can't use your belief they are bad luck to not go to them?
Nope. Apparently telling a pregnant woman that you think her baby shower is bad luck so you can't go is not very nice.
The Jewish tradition (or, at least, Ashkenazic Jewish -- I don't know if other Jews follow this one) is that celebrating or preparing too much before the birth of a baby will attract the attention of the Evil Eye, who will then cause a miscarriage or stillbirth. I don't know anyone who still literally believes this, but I do know tons of Jewish people who get uncomfortable with talking too much about the baby before it's born, or having too much baby stuff in the house, since that old tradition is still somewhere in the back of their minds. Most baby stores in places with significant Jewish populations will take this into account, and they'll let you buy the crib and stuff and then not deliver it until after the baby is born.
I think the Italian tradition is similar to this, but it seemed to stop with my grandmother's generation. The Jewish people I know still don't have them.
I'd have thought a "I just don't
do
those" would be politely understood. They'd make you go into detail?
I'd have thought a "I just don't do those" would be politely understood. They'd make you go into detail?
You would hope. But some people, instead of saying "I just don't do those", make a snap decision that they're not going to any more baby showers ever again, because as a single person who has tried to be supportive of everyone else, they're just DONE and aren't going to attend/help out with the baby shower they said they would. And then send an email saying that NOT to the other people involved in the shower-planning, but to the expecting mom. The night before the shower.
... hey, look at that. I still have issues about that baby shower.
oh Jilli. what a nightmare.
It kind of was. The mom and baby (now toddler, OMG) are wonderful people, and I made damn sure she had a good shower. But between that, and one of the other planners showing up 45 minutes late and throwing a prima donna hissy fit because she was a new mom, wouldn't anyone think about HER NEEDS, yeah. I don't plan baby showers any more.
(Plei and my parents kept me sane during that party. And Pete took me out for drinks afterward.)
Jilli that story reminds me of when I worked at a small gift shop. My boss was 7 or 8 months pregnant and her sisters came in and screamed at her for over an hour about how difficult her friends were making the planning of the baby shower. I could not believe it.
I do have a handful of literally certifiable members of the family, but at least I have the freedom to turn down invitations. It's how I keep myself out of the institutions.
Vortex, your not baby shower is what I remember baby showers being.
That was exactly my intent. :)
I would say I retaliate against baby showers by making the gift I bring, but I am actually rather proud of the baby blankets I make.
There was a stretch of time in my mid-20s when I kept saying someone should throw me a "looks like I'm going to be single for a while but I deserve nice stuff too" shower. Oddly enough no one did.
I loved Richard Scarry as a child.
I envied with the strong envy of a new reader my cousin's Richard Scarry's something or other. And began to covet it all the more when I discovered that my library only had a Richard Scarry picture dictionary. Wow, I can still feel that visceral WANT.
Smonster, Lots of ~ma for your sister.
