It would be good to be asked, bonny. You're not whining. Even though you do get use of the car, the assumption that you'll just snap to, because no one else can do it, and because you always have, er, no. Especially not last-minute. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm going to be out of town for however long you're going to be gone. If *only* I'd known ahead of time...

But then I'm bitchy (checks thread title) and mean, so. Take that as you will.

Car rental can run around $70/day, so if we're quantifying favors, hers is worth over $1200.

It's still not cool for her to assume your availability, but that seems to me like simple communications. And if you're not available, even for reasons of don't wanna, why not just say so?

Wow, I can't imagine just assuming that *anyone* would be able to take care of my cats without plenty of advance notice. Doesn't mean that I don't sometimes wait till the last minute....but then there's apologies and usually some bribery. And, of course, having a paid pet sitter on standby authorized to take over additional visits if friend has something come up and can't make it (I pay a pet sitter for morning visits, since morning visits seem more onerous for working friends, and then try to coax friends into doing evening feedings. Then while I write out the check I curse my high maintenance cats who can't just survive for a couple of days on a bowl of kibble and several bowls of water.)

Twice daily visits to someone else's house are a PITA even if you do have car/internet/fridge priviledges. Having someone like you willing to take on all that responsibility is something anyone should be very appreciative of. You really don't have to if you don't want to, there are plenty of folks out there making a living providing that service, she can hire one of them.

And (since I'm into a glass of wine and full of opinions) my thoughts on online dating sites:

Eharmony: great if you want to get married in the next year and have lots of nice christian babies. Kinda the goal of the site. Met several very nice gentlemen (every one of whom offered to pay for my meal/drinks/whatever) who were all shocked at how liberal i turned out to be. When my profile described my politic views as: liberal pinko socialist tree-hugger.

Match.com: IMHO best paid site out there. Plenty of active profiles of people seriously looking for long term relationships. Met many very nice gentlemen (who all offered to pay my share of the tab. Not that I ever let them, but I kinda appreciate the chivalry of the offer, feminism be darned.)

OKCupid: Free site so high noise/quality ratio, and some seem to use it more as a hook up site, thankfully the questionaire stuff can weed that out fairly easily. Spotty results. I've met some decent, nice guys but find myself only responding to about 10% of messages, the rest are so clearly incompatible. When I say I'm looking for someone who lives within 10 miles and get slews of messages from guys in other cities/states/COUNTRIES? Sheesh.)

Onion.com: Best place to find lots of unemployed writers who whine about the quality of their lives over scrabble games. Met up with three different guys who ALL turned out to be unemployed writers (this was when I was close to LA....but really) and all expected me to pick up the tab. Since I was employed and all. Not a great way to make a good first impression. But at least you know they are literate.

The upsetting thing is that she has turned 'claiming her independence' (after a crappy military marriage that she feels deeply scarred by) into 'not giving a shit about how anyone feels.'

Oh, man, I've been around that kind of thing. It's very trying.

Car rental can run around $70/day, so if we're quantifying favors, hers is worth over $1200.

But since bonny gets by without a car most of the time, I'm guessing she's not going to be using the car anywhere near daily.

bonny, I am a last minute forgetful favor-asker, and I still think that's shitty. Sounds like a talk is in order for you to lay out how much notice you need and that you may not always be available. I assume you give her fair notice for use of the car? Could you use that as your departure point?

erin, thanks for that. I've only used Match and OKC, and that was entertaining to read.

I am running late this morning, and appear not to give a shit. Gronk.

It doesn't sound like bonny said she sure would like to borrow the car in exchange for cat care anytime without notice. Even in the closest friendships with frequent exchanges of favors, it is rude to assume. Common courtesy is too often extended to strangers more than friends and family.

It is a poor start to the day that I am still in jammies at this hour. Yikes. And yet I still want to just pour more coffee and not get my slow butt in the shower. Where oh where is my get up and go?

Monday she said,"Oh, didn't I tell you I'm going to this conference?"

It's 18 days. She leaves day after tomorrow.

Goodness. I admit I rely on my friends for cat sitting support, but I do try to give a little bit more notice than that. I'll be going on vacation to northern Michigan in August, 8/4-8/13 (and I'd welcome Buffista company 8/6-8/10 if anyone's interested in checking out Sleeping Bear Dunes and etc. with me [I'm tied up in family stuff the rest of the time]), and I think I asked Amyth for cat sitting help in April.

Second sleep doesn't seem to want to happen tonight. Alarms will start sounding soon. Grrrr.

My get-up-and-go got up and went.

I'm on Geek2Geek dating site, and I'm surprised at the number of guys I find that I might be interested in. But apparently we're all too shy to get past the point of Favoriting and Winking at each other.

I'm on the verge of smacking a co-worker. She listens to music and ... well, sort of whines along. All. Day. Long. She doesn't actually sing or hum, it's a kind of off-key whine. And it's non-stop. We have an open office, so we're not supposed to listen to music without earbuds or something, cell phones are supposed to be on silent, etc., but no one's addressed the incessant noise. sigh.