smonster, I'm sorry you're having a rough night. I am glad that he finally responded, though, I think now you might get some closure.

sj, good luck with the socializing and the travelling. Also, a second reception? I don't think that people should have to go to more than one reception. I understand why people have multiple receptions, but I thought they were for, like, different sets of people.

sj, good luck with the socializing and the travelling. Also, a second reception? I don't think that people should have to go to more than one reception. I understand why people have multiple receptions, but I thought they were for, like, different sets of people.

It isn't really a second reception. The wedding this weekend didn't really have a reception. It was just the ceremony on the beach with her closest friends and lots of partying. And the second party is so that she can invite everyone that she couldn't invite to the ceremony, and it is still going to be more of a camp day than any kind of formal wedding thing. She would probably understand if we couldn't go, but it is actually one of the few things on the list I'm looking forward to.

I really would just like to avoid all baby showers at the moment, but it seems everyone I know is currently pregnant. t /exaggeration

smonster, I feel your hip pain. These fucking beds in rental houses are pieces of shit. This house has a goddamn elevator but the mattresses are universally crap.

One week before we left for vacation, we got the new mattress at home, and after that first week sleeping on it, my hip and back felt 85% better. Now my hips and back are all buggered up again, and I'm on the heating pad to try to get it to ease up. (I know my biomechanical issues, so I just brought a heating pad with me. And tennis balls for muscle knots. And a strap to stretch my iliopsoas. Hi, I am 93 years old.)

In fact even without the darker colors you may want to do something about that. That room will probably be unpleasantly warm in the summer (and even on some sunny days in other seasons, worse with dark colors.) Can you get the windows tinted? Put up canopies? Something?

Oh yes, very much so. I've already figured on some sort of black-out curtains. Given that I work nights a bunch and sleep in when I can, I have to be able to block out that great California sun. What style of curtains??? that is a great question. I was thinking the roman shade type, but given the style of window, I don't think they'd look all that great. So, not really sure what to do for curtains. But yes, must have blackout curtains. I remember when looking at the place, she had some thick curtains that were big and ugly. And my realtor was like "OMG, why would you block such a gorgeous view!" And I was like, "it's to save on A/C! duh."

BC so exciting to be planning for a new place!!! I put some cork flooring in my bedroom and while it is delightful to walk on barefoot it also dings and scrapes *really* easily. And I sealed it very very thoroughly...so even with glides on furniture you wouldn't want to be dragging heavy furniture across it. I went with some super discounted click lock laminate flooring from Lumber Liquidators. While i hate laminate on general principle, it's amazing stuff. Utterly resilient (dropped a hammer claw side down from the top of a ladder--not a mark) and so very easy to keep clean. I hate carpeting with a vengeance (allergens, the hassle of vacuuming, cats) so my only real quandry was what kind of flooring surface to go with. I'm very happy with the click lock laminate which was also insanely easy to install. Most places you buy from should offer pretty good installation rates, or a general handyman. The guy doing my bathroom remodel loaned me his kit for floor installation, so i expect just about any handy-person either has already done some floor installation or can figure it out easily. My Dad did mine and he has a PhD in contemp English lit...not so much of a DIY dude.

Newer blackout curtains are quite good stuff and don't have to look hideous. Nothing is as effective as taping tinfoil to the window or shoving in styrofoam, but the curtains definitely look nicer if you care about what the neighbors think.

Smonster, I hope things look better to you when you wake up today.

Wow, I could do with more sleep. Three insecure cats in my house = a lot of incessant miaowing at about 4am. After finding one of them fighting with a neighbour's cat in the garden at midnight.

I know from past experience, my crutch can sometimes trip on that. Sounds crazy, I know.

Nope. We took up (almost) all the carpet in our house for the similar reasons (and because of The Girl’s dust allergies). I get along much better with a carpet-free surface. Your place looks great, omnis! Great view.

I never thought I would end up with a guy 5 years younger than me -- didn't discount it, just seemed more likely that I would suit someone my age or a little older.

I didn’t have any views on this, really, but it was still a little weird to start dating The Girl and find out she was five years younger than me. Less weird now (although I do get a bit mad when I remember she’s *still* in her twenties. That’s just not fair). But 16 years would have made me think hard about whether it could work. I know people with that kind of age difference who have made it work fine, but I teach students where there’s less of an age gap, and it would feel odd. But I can also see that it’s less likely to bother other people.

Thinking of you, smonster.

My wife is 19 years younger than me. We saw each other at conferences for years and became friends, but the age difference was a little disconcerting. At some point somewhere in the south of France we sat across the table from each other and said "Look, its already been five years, are we going to waste another five?" We didn't. Four years later we were married, had found jobs at the same university, and had two kids. Glad we had that talk.

Aw, that's a great story, Rick.

I can imagine dating someone much younger than me, but not someone a whole lot older (Like >10 years). I don't know if it's because I'm immature or if I'm a dirty old lady.

My husband was 15 years older than me and it was really right for us.

There was the occasional "Is this your dad?" but that was mainly because I looked impossibly young until I was about 35.

If I'm honest, I was always the adult in that relationship, regardless of chronology.

It makes me a teeny bit sad that, having heard this from a facebook connection, the DEXH does not want me to see him be 'old'. We were friends for a long time after we weren't married any longer. It's too ironic and bit of too bad that age was never an issue at the beginning, but is here at the end.