So, I'm scared Dean is going to die, that it will be my fault, and also feel like everyone is saying I'm being unreasonable for not being able to drop everything and physically be at the appointment.

It is some other universe than mine where people have only one responsibility at a time. Work, pets, kids, family, self. If we only had one obligation at a time it would be dandy but it doesn't work that way. Please don't beat yourself up, askye. You are doing the best you can with limited resources. Only so many hours in the day or money in the bank, or energy for that matter.

askye,

all we can do is the best we can. seriously. you are doing that. don't beat yourself up. You aren't neglectful.

askye, what they said. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You're doing your best.

So, I'm scared Dean is going to die, that it will be my fault, and also feel like everyone is saying I'm being unreasonable for not being able to drop everything and physically be at the appointment.

Dean is not going to die. It is painful - but liveable - and you know what to watch for if it becomes a true emergency. That operation? That the ER vet clinic mentions it is the Rule of the Tool. They've got a hammer, and suddenly everything is coming up nails. While it is a possibility, the greater possibility is that he will be just fine with medication. Considering how many times I have had to leave Harvey at the vet's so they could collect a urine sample from him... Is there any way you could get permission to be late for work then get an appointment at the butt-crack of dawn (or the very beginning of office hours) - so that you can be with Dean for the initial consultation then if he needs to stay for sample collection purposes, board him there for the day? I'm sure you have already tried that, I'm just grasping at straws for suggestions to help.

askye, what Laura said. You do what you can.

And what WindSparrow said -- though I'd add the ass-end of the day as an option along with the butt-crack of dawn.

I may call the ER vet and see if I could just do that first thing in the morning. My current vet is not going to be my current vet anymore. I don't want to deal with them again. I like the vet but every time there seems to be some issue with front desk staff.

Ugh askye, I don't know why the vet is being so defensive. I've dropped off my cats for the vet numerous times, in fact it's usually been standard that the drop off is done w/o consult, and the consultation came at the end of the day when I came to pick my cat up, after tests had been run.

I would look for a new vet near your workplace. Most of us do have to work for a living!

You might also look for a vet in Burlington, where you could have more flexibility escaping work for half an hour, and they might be more flexible as it is a bigger city.

What Burrell said. Find another vet. Generally, for procedures, not just shots or whatnot, dropping pets at the vet and picking them up later is SOP.

If you are a pet person, a good vet is worth their weight in gold. My folks have been going to the same clinic for 20 years, and when their Scot before the present one has problems (seizures, renal failure) the vet TOOK PEPPER HOME WITH HIM to monitor her all night. And when there was nothing that could be done, (poor baby was having two seizures an hour and euthanasia was the only option), the staff cried and put her on her blankie on the floor so my mom and dad could kneel and curl up with her as they delivered mercy.

I traveled 100 miles to have Solomon put to sleep at this clinic because of the relationship my family has had with this clinic. Also, because I lived in an apartment, and wanted to bury him in my folks' yard with our other pets.

(Illegal, but fuck you, rules. We have a tiny pet plot in out yard with a Scottie statue standing vigil over all out lost, beloved pets and my dad says the law can bite his fuckin' crank. And if he could get away with it, he'd prefer it if we could just roll him in the ground by the pets when his time comes. Of course, he also wants us to play "Another One Bites the Dust" at his funeral...and we will. Anyone who doesn't approve didn't know my dad and can bite MY crank. God, I love my dad.)