I think the coming Super Moon is smashing us all.

I have a sad face too. Though, no hairpats deserved or required over here.

My beloved surrogate mom came to visit this side of the country this week. Today, I went to have lunch with her to bask in the fabulous recovery California has afforded her...her renewed vigor...her lack of dependency on painkillers...her joy at being able to drive her brand new car...her sprightly gait, etc.

I'm not going to say that she has lied to me. She's 85 and probably just wants me to believe it as much as she wants to believe it, but none of it is true. She is basically a wreck and I'm so sad. Of course, age is age, it's neither good, nor bad. But still.

Sadly, her driving made me wish that I had not acquiesced to her request that I bring Cagney. I really feared for all our lives. She wouldn't let me drive because that would be a statement about her age. She asked if her driving worried me. I asked if she wanted the honest answer or the one that would make her feel good. She opted for the truth. Her rationale boiled down to 'everyone, regardless of age, makes mistakes.' What she does not account for is the confluence of 'road mistakes', lack of memory, getting lost, physical weakness...all coming together into...driving is a bad idea.

Then, she locked the rental car keys in the trunk and a nice picnic by a lake turned into a 3 1/2 hour bug-tortured ordeal, waiting for AAA to help us...mostly because she kept giving them every possible bit of incorrect information.

I was sad to say goodbye because I fear I'm saying goodbye.

On top of all that, my friend, who is staggeringly generous in lending me her car, didn't figure it was useful to tell me that the internal electrics in her car aren't working. No ability to move the seat forward (I'm 5 feet nothing), the windows don't work properly and the a/c is totally out. It was 87 degrees today. I had the dog in the car.

We made it home all right. So, no big deal but OY.

Oh, bonny. I know how deeply you love this woman, and how hard it is to see someone you love starting to let go while still fighting hard against it (my incredibly beloved grandfather, a few years ago, and it was brutally painful). And then the sheer mundane infuriating rental keys and car windows on top of all that.

What a difficult day, bonny. I hope that she was just having a bad day and that her tales of renewed vigor are not so much an exaggeration. I'm sorry.

I know how deeply you love this woman

I really, really do.

The most saving of graces is that I have never missed an opportunity to express my gratitude to her for being the best mom I could ever have dreamt of. I would not be the me I am today, had she not been with me through every major event of my adulthood.

Fate may have front-loaded the pain in my life, but made up for it in large part by making me desperately ill at the end of the March, thus landing me in Niki's house to recover.

God. I really am fortunate.

I hope that she was just having a bad day and that her tales of renewed vigor are not so much an exaggeration.

Aw. Thanks Laura.

Sadly, she can't take more than three steps without stopping to gasp for breath and wobble on her cane. The cane she told me she doesn't use anymore.

She HAS lost a lot of weight, which is helping her bionic hips and knees.

Sigh.

Lots of ~ma out your way smonster. Glad you are there for your friend.

Bonny, I wish I had some wise words. I'm glad you have many wonderful memories of time with her to counterbalance this visit.

{Ginger & Erin}

Oy, bonny. That's a tough day.

Lots and lots of ~ma, sumi.

Nora, you know I know how you feel about the dog sitch here. It sucks big time. Good on you for trying and for calling the SPCA.

Had a lovely dinner and walk with StW, and am now sitting with a friend who needs ~ma. Good thing tomorrow is an optional work day for me, I don't know how long I'll be here.

Sorry about the very bad day, Bonnie. She may get around better and be more focused when she's home and not tired. I'm afraid many older people are in denial about driving.

Sumi, I hope the something that was nothing turns out to be not much.

Up at 5:00 this morning. The family Tea has said goodbye to Waigong and Waipo, and is now at Shanghai Pudong airport, waiting to catch our plane home. Our intrepid travelling boy has, on this trip, ridden on planes, trains (high speed), buses, taxis and boats.

We'll get home maybe 9:00 tomorrow morning. I predict crashage.

{{Erin}} Lots of ~ma to you. I am often in a similar place, but rarely have the energy or courage to post what you did. I hope things start to look up, and if there's anything I can do, let me know. I may be around here sporadically lately, but y'all are in my heart.

{{Ginger}} I am thinking of you so often. I wish there was more I could say. So much love and strength to you.

{{sumi}} calm ~ma.

{{bonny}}

{{Nora}}

smonster, lots of ~ma to your friend. I saw on FB. That sounds really frightening.