Aims, I got the book "It's Perfectly Normal" by Harris and Emberley for M; he was 9 last year and had NO interest in it. Threw it under the bed like it had cooties.
I told him that was ok; he could read it this year or not, but that it would stay in his room.
It's a great book, and has illustrations as well as words. It shows all types of body types, talks about masturbation, homo, hetero and bisexuality and has gentle humor.
But he'll be 10 this summer, and we will have The Talk.
Gentlemen Buffistas, don't feel compelled to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you recall at what age you started masturbating/thinking about girls/guys? M's dad will be present for The Talk, but I'm a lot more comfortable with it than he, and figure I will do the big portion of the Talk, and then M can come to dad with any questions he might have that he doesn't want to ask me.
I HOPE he feels ok asking me, but I'm pragmatic about the likelihood.
-ma to Ginger and Le Nubian!
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ION, D and I have been married 2 years today!
Gentlemen Buffistas, don't feel compelled to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you recall at what age you started masturbating/thinking about girls/guys?
I tried masturbating after I read about it (so age 9), but didn't really pursue it as a regular activity until I was about 12. (For boys it feels a lot better after you produce seminal fluid.)
Cool. M takes after his dad a lot so I'll have to ask him what age he started. I think M will start puberty around 11 or 12, but I think 10 is the right age for Talk #1.
I will DEF being giving Talk #2 about 13, along with the dreaded cucumber demonstration. And pictures of STD's. 10 is too young for that...and I don't want to make sex scary, just make sure he knows that there can be consquences if he and a partner don't protect themselves. Yanno, when he's 19!
Gentlemen Buffistas, don't feel compelled to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you recall at what age you started masturbating/thinking about girls/guys?
About 12/13. My parents barely acknowledged the existence of sex. So I had to use alternative means of finding things out. (Luckily, it was the '70s, and a curious youth could learn a lot just from bestselling fiction at the local library. I think I've said before that I learned a lot by reading The Godfather. And The People's Almanac was practically a sex ed course by itself.)
Are there stats on whether girls start masturbating before boys? I know fewer girls are supposed to wank than boys, but when's the average that either gender starts playing with their hands down their pants?
eta: The wikipedia article was useless. I don't mean the first self-orgasm. I mean when it starts to become a thing they consider doing for fun. A baby boy who discovers that pulling on his willy hasn't really *started* masturbating, per se, if he doesn't pick it up again until he's 10.
Gentlemen Buffistas, don't feel compelled to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you recall at what age you started masturbating/thinking about girls/guys?
Very young... 6 or so. Not knowing what it was, just that it felt good, kind of thing. Although actual puberty was 13 or so. I never really found girls gross or full of cooties or what not. Kinda curious that given all that, I have no skills at asking women out... But that's a different question.
I know I'm a woman, but I kind of...don't remember not doing it, although at different times it was less often.When I read about women who, like, have to be taught, it kind of confuses me. Score one for hippie lack of shame, I suppose.
I think the book we used was called "Growing Up and Liking It"
Strangely, though, my mother would still rather talk about biology than emotional things around these kinds of issues.
I was once busted like Sally Draper by one of my SPED teachers though. I thought I was in trouble, but my mother gave the teacher hell instead. I did get an extra-encylopedic definition of what "private" is.
I got the book "It's Perfectly Normal" by Harris and Emberley
That was the book I got for the boys. Gave it to them, told them they were always free to ask any questions. I believe it was the book recommended here. I never had a sit down The Talk. I was always open and comfortable answering any questions although few were asked. We have had a good number of teachable moments with unexpected teen pregnancies and so forth. Mostly my standard position with them has been 'no sex (alcohol, smoking, etc) until you are 35 or married, whichever comes first'. They also have been told that any potential spouse has to ask my permission first before they can marry. Brendon has told this to a number of women, but none of them have asked me for his hand yet.
I'm pretty sure the book we had was something like
Growing Up, Feeling Good,
but I remember learning a lot more from looking through my mom's copy of
Our Bodies, Ourselves.
I'm not sure I ever had, like, a sit-down Talk with my parents, but they were always open & willing to answer questions and made me feel like I could ask them anything. It worked out pretty well!
