for heaven's sake please don't put it in her Christmas stocking.

Oh my word. I promise.

Oh my word. I promise.

Em will never consciously know how grateful she is to have such a sensible mom, but that part of her mind connected to the Collective Subconscious does know and is very thankful.

A picture book you'll read to/with her? Or one that she'll read with you there?

My mother didn't use books. I probably wouldn't, because I'd like to draw during that talk. I think that would be interesting.

That's not why my mother didn't use a book. They were few and far between in 70s Jamaica.

I never got The Talk. My mom probably figured, rightly too, that I'd read all about it and end up knowing more than she did, at least about the clinical facts. I wonder if that's one reason why she told the librarians to let me read whatever I wanted to... sneaky, Mom!

The closest I came to the talk, was when dad dropped me off for college, and his parting words were "Oh, if you are going to party, where a party cap", them got in the truck, and drove back to NY.

But, in 6th grade, one of the girls got pregnant, so they started sex ed that year. All the std/preggers/scare tactics stuff.

My mother very awkwardly had The Talk with me, but I don't remember anything about it other than it made no sense at all and that I had the feeling any questions would not be greeted as wonderful opportunities for dialogue. Fortunately, the Home Medical Guide that was part of the house library had some very clear chapters on things that I'm sure Mother didn't know were there.

We haven't quite gotten to The Talk yet with Franny. She asked once what sex was and how do you make babies, so we decided it was time, but then as we tried to answer her we realized her eyes were glazing over and we realized we were giving her WAY more info than she asked for. And we had only gotten as far as saying people make babies the same way animals do. It was kinda funny.

Aims, google Julia Sweeney talking about giving the talk to Mulan. It's so hilarious that it will help whatever nervousness you might have. :-)

I'm on iPhone but I hope this will work: [link]

When I was about 9 I asked about sex. My parents gave me the book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*but were afraid to ask).

I read it from cover to cover.

Then I sat down and talked to them about sex. I asked them what it felt like, what semen looked like. This part of the conversation was only about half an hour because I really didn't need that much information from them because I just read the book. But having no practical experience in the manner I couldn't really imagine the other things worth talking about. (Despite the book and the talk I still had some misconceptions about intercourse because I couldn't really imagine how all the working parts fit together.)

But they were very positive about sex, encouraged me to masturbate, told me not to be ashamed about it, and left their books The Sensuous Man and The Sensuous Woman lying around for me to pick up and read.

The main emphasis - which turned out to be pretty good - was not to emphasize procreation, or only doing it in a loving relationship. But that sex felt good and was fun and you shouldn't feel ashamed about it. You just needed to be responsible about using birth control and STDS. But that it was also private and you shouldn't just blab about it with anybody. Also, think about your partner and be a generous lover.

It really was a "sex positive" message and I'm thankful for it.

Remember the scene in Shoot the Moon where Karen Allen describes it to kids as "being like ice cream"? I vaguely remember it but remember thinking how sweetly it was handled.