Maria, that is awful even if it was resolved.
Basic social skills question: (Happening shortly, so please excuse the timing for asking)
A acquaintance of mine is coming from out of town to give a presentation at a local government office during their lunch hour - an inhouse brown bag thing. I'm meeting him for a half hour at the office before the presentation cause we don't get much time to talk, and we have mutual professional interests. I'm definitely planning not to hint to stay, because crashing an inhouse event is bad manners and major negative PR. But what if I'm invited? At that point would it be better manners to stay or to go? If it happens, I'm leaning towards assuming that it is Pacific Northwest manners, and that the polite thing is still to stay no., But I'm worried that if it happens, is sincere, and I say no, that is bad manners. Yes I'm neurotic. Dammit if I lived in NY that would not be a problem; the odds would be I would not be asked, and if I was it would probably be because they wanted me to stay. Here I'm betting I get asked regardless.
I think you could respond with a whole 'Oh, I'm not sure that's appropriate, isn't it an in-house lunch? Wouldn't I be out of place/crashing/etc?" and the response would determine the outcome--a weak "Oh, well, I'm sure it's fine..." might be a no, with a "No, it'll be great, they have others coming, no one will notice!" would be more of a yes...
I think you could respond with a whole 'Oh, I'm not sure that's appropriate, isn't it an in-house lunch? Wouldn't I be out of place/crashing/etc?" and the response would determine the outcome
I concur.
Stupid PNW manners. Sometimes they annoy me. I mean, people are just generally nicer but it also manifests in things like not being able to handle a four-way stop sign correctly. I really do want to go stand at the worst intersection and just hand out "UR DOIN IT WRONG!" fliers. Politely, of course.
Heh. Well, if two PNW transplants agree...you should probably ask a native. I'm not sure I have the appropriate polite-passive-aggressive thing down, quite yet.
it also manifests in things like not being able to handle a four-way stop sign correctly.
No drivers anywhere know how to work four-way stop sign situations, in my experience.
But lisah, in DC at least, the lack of knowledge would engender situations where there were (nearly) accidents because everyone thought THEY were the right person to go.
In the PNW we tend to all sit at the stopsign expecting someone else to go first. No you go. No, you.
Thanks all. Weak invite which I turned down. I would swear that even in "mellow" S. Cal I would not have had that problem, let alone in New York.
it also manifests in things like not being able to handle a four-way stop sign correctly.
No drivers anywhere know how to work four-way stop sign situations, in my experience.
In SF, the odds are good that at least one driver will ignore the stop sign all together.
Ack, so much to catch up on!
Congratulations sj and TCG on house closing! That has got to be a very satisfying feeling.
Pix, you are a dynamo! Can I borrow some of that?
Maria, I'm glad you were able to straighten the problem out, but, boy howdy, do I want to bend a few necks for you having to go through that.
Also, I just want to thank everyone here for their purchases of American Girl Dolls. Those purchases have meant new galleries at the local art museum on campus, the Overture Centre, which houses four theatres, and I'm not sure what else she and her husband have contributed to the city, but it's a lot. Pleasant Rowland, the original owner of AGD, and her husband are very generous to my city. So, I am happy to take advantage of your generosity by proxy.
eta: And my condolences to Steph. It sucks to lose a co-worker that you've known for a long time and been friendly with. The work place feels broken for a while after. I'm glad you're giving yourself a bit of a break today.
