I think you may be right. How do I convey that it is lively, and does not have a stick up its ass?
Most people is pretty quiet right about now. Me, I see a stiff -- one I didn't have to kill myself -- I just get, the urge to, you know, do stuff. Like work out, run around, maybe get some trim if there's a willin' woman about... not that I get flush from corpses or anything. I ain't crazy.
Jayne ,'The Message'
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Typo Boy - Sep 28, 2011 10:14:42 am PDT #628 of 1417
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
beekaytee - Sep 28, 2011 10:23:27 am PDT #629 of 1417
Compassionately intolerant
I agree about grownups vs. adults...Adult does, for better or worse, connote something you want to avoid.
Instead of snarky, how about irreverent, or pointed, or challenging, or confronting?
You want to express 'outside the box' without saying outside the box. I like, pulling the cover off and looking behind the curtain.
Typo Boy - Sep 28, 2011 10:59:03 am PDT #630 of 1417
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
This lively and information-packed picture book for grownups is serious but not solemn, irreverent but never indifferent.
Typo Boy - Sep 28, 2011 1:55:50 pm PDT #631 of 1417
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
Another version I'd love feedback on:
"Cooling a Fevered Planet" is a lively and information-packed picture book for grownups. It is serious but not solemn, irreverent but never indifferent. At fewer than 80 pages this graphical survey of the economics, policy and politics of solving the climate crisis leaves the reader energized and informed.
beekaytee - Sep 28, 2011 2:23:44 pm PDT #632 of 1417
Compassionately intolerant
This lively and information-packed picture book for grownups is serious but not solemn, irreverent but never indifferent.
I like this a lot.
I'd cut the number of pages in favor of "This graphical survey economically communicates the essentials of solving the climate crisis, leaving you informed, energized and ready for action."
I'm assuming the book includes a call to action.
Stating the pages a) suggests that I, as a reader, don't have the patience and/or interest (which I might, you don't know) and b) makes it seem like a pamphlet. I see the interest in advertising a short read, but I think it leaves an impression you might not want.
Typo Boy - Sep 28, 2011 3:38:52 pm PDT #633 of 1417
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
Final version?
"Cooling a Fevered Planet" is a lively and information-packed picture book for grownups. It is serious but not solemn, irreverent but never indifferent. This succinct graphical survey of the economics, policy and politics of solving the climate crisis leaves the reader informed and energized.
short instead of concise? Or succinct. I think succinct is better, and changed it. And changed to informed and energize.
Vortex - Sep 28, 2011 4:14:11 pm PDT #634 of 1417
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
I like succinct.
Liese S. - Sep 28, 2011 4:15:07 pm PDT #635 of 1417
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Sounds great.
JenP - Sep 28, 2011 4:16:15 pm PDT #636 of 1417
I do too, and I would say informed and energized. You know, now that I'm informed, I'm energized to go solve this thing.
Strix - Sep 28, 2011 4:18:10 pm PDT #637 of 1417
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Sounds good, Typo.
So I went to my first F2F networking thing for area small businesses. It went well -- a lot of people really came up and asked me about wordslinger, so people were approaching me, which was awesome.
And I won a prize; a 2 day web design training seminar, which is so perfect, I can't even say.
ION, I am exhausted, and going to drop down dead in a few minutes.