I know I'm increasingly reluctant to stop and write down my e-mail address at some kind of event. I'd much rather get something with the website on it, so I can sign up at my leisure.

So much this.

Ironically, I am of the same mind.

It may seem hypocritical, but I don't sign up for anything that isn't extremely local and very well known.

Since the company is strictly local (as in not even all of Capitol Hill) and we were approaching people with obvious dogs (as opposed to subtle dogs, I suppose) it seemed less intrusive to me.

Some folks that I addressed were not uncomfortable. I smiled and moved on. Others were extremely encouraging and grateful for the information.

Life. It is a mixed bag.

I'm not taking any prickliness personally

I'm not meaning to come off as terse.

Gotcha. I don't either. Sometimes I just want to keep talking about something, but I want to make sure I'm not coming off as glib or defensive or whatever. Especially in here, there is a wealth of knowledge I want to tap. Just sayin'.

Re: coming off as glib -- I do get that marketing is hard for most people; I don't love it myself. Also, my frame of reference is retail, where gauging someone's selling ability is part of the hiring process.

Oh, and contrary to you all, I give my e-mail freely, because I usually feel sorry for the poor sap who has to ask me for it, as I have been that poor sap many a time, and I know I can always unsub, and I am a master of the Gmail filter. So, someone with Ginger, me, Amy, and Bonny in a room would have a 25% success rate!

Heh. I should probably use a gmail address for on the street stuff.

This neighborhood is huge with the 'do you have a minute for the environment' approach. Sometimes I humor the down-trodden worker, sometimes I don't.

Oh, yeah, I'm free with retail requests. If it's a cause, well, I have to at least not recoil at the thought of receiving e-mail about it. Which, to be clear, save the environment would be fine. I don't get stopped in the street much, though... my default look is kind of grouchy, I've come to understand.

Sorry. I'm not meaning to come off as terse.

Yeah, me neither, although I really agree with everything ND said.

I don't sign up for things. There are two that I do, locally, both farmers at the farmers market. And I get email from them, and then I go to the market and I buy their products. So, yeah, it can be used effectively, but it has to be done well and unobtrusively. Otoh, I have friends on facebook who are constantly pimping their (home, probably pyramid scheme) businesses, and it drives me bonkers.

The question of promotion is a really thorny one, and one I wish I understood better.

Please know that my musing on this topic is not about my experiences here, but a sincere exploration...among business folks I respect...of something that has caused me no end of pain and confusion for decades.

A happy few people find themselves in situations where they become successful, never having to open their mouths about what they do. I know they exist, I just don't know any personally.

It took me a very long time and a huge amount of internal work to get to the point where I was able to say what I do and how much I charge without cringing.

Why should that be?

I've been dissed by folks who spit 'self promotion' as if it were an epithet, but who also happily wear labels and promo the products of rapacious corporations.

How is my sincere desire to help offensive?

In the macro view, I know there are masses of people in this world who are slimy and manipulative and happy to harm others.

How do I get painted with that brush?

I've never purposefully harmed anyone and have, on the contrary, done a lot of good. I just want to do more of it.

Communicating that in an attractive, effective way is hard enough without being viewed as selfish or abusive.

Help me understand how to make myself visible, and successful without inviting the disdain of others?

A happy few people find themselves in situations where they become successful, never having to open their mouths about what they do. I know they exist, I just don't know any personally.

They don't exist.

This is true if you're working for yourself or for someone else: The work does not "speak for itself." You have to speak for the work.

How is my sincere desire to help offensive?

This statement rubs me the wrong way, a little bit. (And I'm not saying you're offensive, at all.) I believe that you want to help, but you want to do it via people hiring you, right? Those are two different goals, and I think it's important to be up front about that. Not that I think this is how you personally approach things, but I would be taken aback if someone approached me to tell me what was wrong with me and how they could fix it. I would be less taken aback if I learned about some service I could purchase, and then decided it would be useful for me to spend my money on.

This statement rubs me the wrong way, a little bit. (And I'm not saying you're offensive, at all.)

No offense taken, I'm truly grateful for the conversation.

I believe that you want to help, but you want to do it via people hiring you, right? Those are two different goals, and I think it's important to be up front about that.

Very true. It's a key point for the kind of work that I do that many people think I should just do it because I can. That I should wait for people to come to me. Sadly, that just doesn't work enough to pay my rent.

My hairdresser loves his work, but no one gets offended when he asks who does your hair and offers to make a space in his calendar.

When I was at Loyola, one of the biggest struggles my colleagues came up against was not doubting their abilities but being terrified of actually asking for money for their work. "It's God's work." I heard that all the time.

If this were logical, shouldn't everyone work for free?

Not that I think this is how you personally approach things, but I would be taken aback if someone approached me to tell me what was wrong with me and how they could fix it.

This my biggest, BIGGEST challenge. I have never, ever presumed to tell anyone what is wrong with them. In fact, a huge bit of what I do is to help people see that there really ISN'T anything wrong with them!

Yet, people accuse me of trying to read their minds, or psychoanalyze them. The number of times people have told me how much they don't believe in therapy and then go on to tell me their entire life story? I can't even count.

I don't want to come over all Rodney Dangerfield, but sometimes the disrespect really burns.

Then again, it is mediated by the people who tell me that I've saved their marriage, their job, their sanity, etc.

I would be less taken aback if I learned about some service I could purchase, and then decided it would be useful for me to spend my money on.

Here is where I need the most help!

How would you want to learn about a service like mine? What would you need to know about it to be able to make that decision?

The answers to those two questions would be a huge help to me.

I guess it depends on what your service actually is. For therapy, I start with the list of providers my insurance covers. When I was looking for a job coach type thing, I asked my grad school career person.