Hockey: Noooooo! My friend Elizabeth will be so sad.

I've been meaning to share two Emmett stories, one baseball, one Krav.

Krav: So they're doing a stress drill, with one person on the ground in a defensive posture (elbows up protecting head, knees up) and eight others are beating that person with punching pads. Then they collapse down on that person who needs to fight their way out. Teacher decides that they should ratchet up the stress levels with verbal abuse.

At first nobody says anything, but my 14 y.o. knows where to start on the guy on the ground.

[Side note: guy on the ground looks pretty much exactly like Gary - aka, 21 - on Venture Brothers.]

Emmett: "You suck!" ::whacks with pad::
LooksLikeGary: "Uhh...."
Emmett: "Your toes are hairy!" ::whack!::
Emmett: "What's with your stupid ponytail?!"
LooksLikeGary: "I like Steven Segal!"
Instructor: "?! Then Steven Segal your way out of this!"
LooksLikeGary: "I don't even know what that means!"
Emmett: ::whack!:: "Make shitty movies until you can crawl away!"

Baseball:

So Emmett's joined a summer team and they have a tournament this weekend. They got their jerseys after last practice.

Emmett: "So...why does it say 'Genesis' on the front of the jerseys?"
Coach: "Uh. Well, we put in the order and told them the team's name wasn't decided yet so just to say 'Albany'.
Emmett: "So...why does it say 'Genesis'?
Coach: "Well, there was a mixup. They asked us what font to use and we told them to use Genesis font for the front. And they said, 'You want us to use Genesis on the front?' And we said, 'Yeah, Genesis on the front.'"
Me: "You're lucky your team's name isn't The Albany Comic Sans."
Matthew (Emmett's teammate): "We could've been the Albany Arial Black."

sara, thanks for the links. I hadn't poked around CANDELS before. Neat!

Hello, 5:15. Bah.

Heart~ma for your dad, Kat.

Cantor can suck my metaphorical dick. If he doesn't like government for the people, including those hit by natural disasters, maybe he shouldn't be part of that government.

I can't go anywhere until 7:30. So Angry Birds it is.

I spilled my glass of water on my phone and lamp on my bedside table. Phone and lamp got wet.

Phone is fine, my 5 minutes later the lamp started strobing. STROBING! At 4 in the morning. I groggily unplugged it and went back to sleep, but my poor husband was up, an hour earlier.

Freakish early early risers.

After going to bed early and waking up to sunshine, I am feeling awesome.

But after catching up here, I see there are a lot of people who can go fuck themselves.

"Well, there was a mixup. They asked us what font to use and we told them to use Genesis font for the front. And they said, 'You want us to use Genesis on the front?' And we said, 'Yeah, Genesis on the front.'"

That's hilarious. I hope Emmett has a good time.

It looks like Leif and Em are going to be on the same soccer team next year. Their favorite coach is moving up an age level so Leif is going to be playing in an older age group to stay with him.

But after catching up here, I see there are a lot of people who can go fuck themselves.

Hey!

Not you, Gud, and not the people trying to hire you. Because it sounds like you're on a hell of a roll!