You know me! I'm like, "Go school! It's your birthday!" Or something to that effect.

Willow ,'Empty Places'


Natter 68: Bork Bork Bork  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


DavidS - Apr 11, 2011 4:04:02 pm PDT #2815 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Does anyone know anyone who has been hurt by closing elevator doors? Should I not be throwing myself between them so willy nilly?

I worked at a place where a guy got his hand caught in the doors, the doors didn't open up and the elevator then moved and mangled his hand pretty bad. So when new employees tried to catch the elevator doors we all heard this story. (And indeed, the doors did not retreat readily on catching a hand. It took a hard shove to get them to back off.)


Ginger - Apr 11, 2011 4:15:59 pm PDT #2816 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

Because escalators are horrible awful machines that house a green monster.

I fell forward on an escalator once and cut my shins. Y'all probably already guessed that.

I also embarrassed my mother by turning one off when I was about 3. There were buttons. I pushed them.


§ ita § - Apr 11, 2011 4:23:07 pm PDT #2817 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I think I shall make sure, then, that I slap the lip of the elevator doors, or jam my whole arm in, for more safety.

I am one of the few people in the building that ever seems to try, though. Most people slow down when they see the doors closing, whereas I speed up and stick my foot in, or something. And then people look at me funny.

Make your protagonist want something. I need to reread Hitchhiker's. What did Arthur Dent want?


-t - Apr 11, 2011 4:28:18 pm PDT #2818 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

His house not be torn down, for one.


§ ita § - Apr 11, 2011 4:29:00 pm PDT #2819 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Did that last longer than a chapter?


-t - Apr 11, 2011 4:31:37 pm PDT #2820 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Not in a practical it could happen sense, I guess. He mostly wanted terrible things to stop happening, I think. And maybe a cup of tea.


tommyrot - Apr 11, 2011 4:39:47 pm PDT #2821 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

Also, he wanted what's-her-name.


Jesse - Apr 11, 2011 4:42:17 pm PDT #2822 of 30001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I once got a truly spectacular bruise from an elevator door that slammed closed on me (it started closing as I was getting on the elevator and I put my arm up and, after hitting me really hard, it opened again).

Me too. I'm now just scared of that one elevator.


DebetEsse - Apr 11, 2011 4:48:17 pm PDT #2823 of 30001
Woe to the fucking wicked.

He spent a lot of time wanting a cup of tea.

Tommy, Fenchurch?

I think "To not die" was often his primary desire.


§ ita § - Apr 11, 2011 4:49:10 pm PDT #2824 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

he wanted what's-her-name

How can you not remember Trillian's name?

It wasn't a very big motivator for him. And neither was wanting stuff to stop happening. I mean, he doesn't try to make stuff stop happening, does he? Once Earth gets destroyed (SPOILERS!) what does he try to achieve?