J'aime. Totally.

I had jackfruit today. The guy with the Jamaican guy brought it in. I haven't had it in years and years. We agreed it tasted like fruit. Just like...fruit. Like a smoothie, but solid. It was the fruit of fruits.

I think I told this story in Bitches... my first date off OKC here in NOLA was with a guy who refused to tell me how to pronounce his name. I rattled off six options and he was like, "Yeah, I get called all of those." So you can amuse yourselves imaginging options, it is spelled "Jeme."

I had a student who did that. The first time I hand papers back and call on students by name, I make the best effort I can at pronouncing, and I tell everyone that, if I mispronounce their name, they should please correct me. There was one student with a Chinese name that I knew I pronounced totally wrong, because I had to try three times before he even realized that it was his name I was trying to say. He didn't say anything, though, so I said, "How do you pronounce your name?" and he replied, "You won't be able to say it." I asked again, saying I'd try to get it right, and he just shook his head.

My one Chinese friend's name is a totally jacked-up transliteration, and I know the American version is still not quite right, but she works with it. But I swear I heard her answering her phone with what her name looks like, not what it actually is.

Allyson, that is un-fucking-believable. You need a gastro who not only will give you an MRI, but who will also do an upper GI and possibly a colonoscopy. That’s what my GI did before she diagnosed IBS. Also, DRUGS THAT ACTUALLY WORK.

(My IBS is under control now, so I’m not on those particular good drugs, but even I knew about them. I assumed you were already on them. I can’t BELIEVE it.)

Once in a while they HAVE NO PREFERENCE. You don't care if you are called David or Dave? WTF? WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

I prefer Jilli or Jillian to Jill, but that's about it, really. And it has been proven that if someone shouts "Hey Cupcake!" while I am walking, I will stop and turn to figure out if they mean me.

So you can amuse yourselves imaginging options, it is spelled "Jeme."

I would have just called him Frank.

Enough teachers in school would call me by my sister's name that I'll usually turn around if I hear someone say it.

Oh, I do answer to my last name. I wonder if anyone else in my family does. That would be confusing. Luckily my sister eschews Starbucks and their ilk.

Did you look more alike as kids, Hil?

Did you look more alike as kids, Hil?

Not even remotely. Well, I've heard different opinions on how similar our facial features are, but our coloring has always been really different.