Is it wrong that the reason I want to go into work today is that I have a brownie cupcake in my desk drawer?

I was even contemplating going in early, but the internet got in the way.

Maria, you have had a shitty year. Just because someone else's year was made of explosive diaherra doesn't make yours not a poop-based structure.

This needed repeating. And also made me laugh.

I think the next thing I need to figure out is whether I'm truly depressed, and if so, is it situational or clinical depression?

Really? It doesn't matter. If you are depressed, go see a doctor. Let them worry about which it is.

That's what we're here for, because you can't see you--you're inside you! But we can, and we see you, and you look awesome to us. This is a super hard time, but you can get through this. And we're here for you.

And what Liese said.

Stephanie, I'm so glad to hear that you are happy.

Sass! Come home!!!

(THANKS, SMONSTER, for the hookup)

Ahahaha, you are welcome!! G is so awesome. Sometimes I feel like he only comes back to NC... to convince people to move away from NC.

while I feel like it's accelerated my midlife crisis, I also feel like it's accelerated my eventual getting on the other side of it.

This gets back to what Jilli said, and what my experience has been, which is if you repress your feelings and try to "should" your way out of them, they just get nastier and bigger and eventually impossible to deny. Oh. I think I just figured out what to get you for your birthday, amyth.

Calli, not only do you not smell, but you are just chockfull of fabulousness. Better to be picky than date assholes, like my sister does.

I was stuck for a good long time, digging myself out of the depressive hole left over from my Peace Corps experience of "let me take everything you thought you know about yourself and TURN IT INSIDE OUT". But I don't have to tell y'all that, y'all heard my whinging for years and years. Getting unstuck was letting go of "I should have a stable office job," was finally ending the awful experiment that was my relationship with KBD, was moving to this beautiful and fucked up city. It involved a shitload of therapy, a number of antidepressants, and some extraordinary assistance from Buffistas (wake up calls, go to bed calls, breakup support, listening ears, and even Bev driving 1.5 hrs each way to do my dishes).

In conclusion, HOOKERS AND BLOW.

Missed this the first time around:

My insurance only covers mental health services if it entails a chemical dependency or a problem that puts me in the hospital. So, yeah, $$$$.

Calli, G operates on a sliding scale, pretty much. And amyth and I can testify to his fabness, as can a number of my friends. Let me or amyth know if you want his contact info.

G. is so great, and Calli, he may work with you on the $$$, if you're interested. He does sliding scale.

Calli, not only do you not smell, but you are just chockfull of fabulousness.

This.

Heh, smonster, I just figured out what I'm going to get you for your birthday the other day. EXCELLENT.

eta: sliding scale x-post!

My thanks to those of you that have tweeted/facebooked about the most recent Sassafras sighting - she actually walked into someone's house on Sunday, but the woman was so surprised she didn't get the doors closed. The DH was out with the tracker last night, and we'll pick it up again tonight to see if she goes right back to the American U. neighborhood where she's been before.

Oh, thank goodness.

I'm working until 7, but if you need a driver after that, let me know!

::high-fives amyth::

Seriously, any therapist who can analyze dreams one minute, help you budget the next, and absolutely doesn't sugarcoat anything is pretty awesome.

He's kind of like Clinton on What Not to Wear, or the Sassy Gay Friend. But with therapy.

Just because someone else's year was made of explosive diaherra doesn't make yours not a poop-based structure.

True fact.

I would call this shorthand the Fucking Perspective Clause (FPC) so that I can invoke it without having to qualify my fears and needs for a bit of compassion with a long drawn out explanation of how much fucking perspective I actually have before asking for the above described comfort.

I love this so much I’m going to wrap it up in a warm blankie and pet it.

{{{Maria}}} You are wonderful and extraordinary. It may not be in the way you imagined or you expect for yourself, but you are extraordinary.

Sass!!! Go home, sweet puppy!

I keep toying with the idea of getting some therapy, to see if I'm self-sabotaging or something.

I have wondered that about myself. Honestly, part of my problem is that I don’t go places where single, straight men are. My hobbies and career skew heavily to women and gay men. Who are lovely but not date material. I’m on a couple of dating web sites but get no responses from them at all. I realize I’m not terribly photogenic and I’m not a size 8, but I’m not ugly.

Yay fixed car for Allyson!!!

Calli, not only do you not smell, but you are just chockfull of fabulousness.

Thank you. \\0/

Better to be picky than date assholes, like my sister does.

I'm sorry about your sister's asshole dating. She's darned nifty, too, and it would be great for her to date someone who deserves that.

OTOH, there's picky and then there's no dates since 1996.

He's kind of like Clinton on What Not to Wear, or the Sassy Gay Friend. But with therapy.

A Sassy Gay Therapist does sound like just the thing. If one or the other of you wouldn't mind emailing me the contact info, please, that would be great. I don't know that I'll start anything until after vacation, but it would be nice to have handy, so I can find out rates and the like. Thanks!

Really? It doesn't matter. If you are depressed, go see a doctor. Let them worry about which it is.

Also, even if you don't have Actual Depression, therapy can help with the doldrums (which is what I call what I usually get...).

Calli, insent.