And plans re-scheduled for tomorrow. Nice.

Entirely separate post:

it's more that I want to have sex with him because he's *him,* not because of...whatever it is that happens when people are sexually attracted to each other.

::nods::

Discovering asexuality has been a complete revelation for me, because it helps explain a lot about where I don't fit into categories others seem to accept, or define, as "normal." I know, who among us *is*, really?

But I do know that, after decades of sex with one partner, and no real desire for sex with anybody else in all my life, I have to look at that kind of a-squint.

When I'm attracted to someone, of either gender, I want to sit down and talk with them about stuff. I want to watch their face animate, watch their hands fly, listen to the rise and fall of their voice, their laughter. If they draw or sew or knit, I want to watch that work, sometimes while talking, sometimes just silently concentrating on the creation that's forming, and their hands creating. I may be struck by the curve of an ass, the length of a leg, the carving of a wristbone or a collarbone, the sweep of hair--it's not sexual. It's art. While it may awaken a desire to touch, to stroke, that impulse is no more than the impulse to run my palm along the satin textured grain of a chair arm, or a length of velvet. It's sensory, not sexual. Those two things are not necessarily--not often, in fact--connected, for me. I live in my senses, and while sex has often been good and even amazing, what I see and hear and touch is so much more than sex. And what I see and hear and touch often approaches an appreciation similar to orgasm.

So, I think I'm weird. I could happily live responding to sensual and intellectual stimuli and never having sex again. That's weird, right?

Sorry...actually left work to come home (gasp!), so I'm meara-ing:

But for demisexual people it only works in one direction, which is: personality first, sexual attraction second. Does that make sense?

Yes. This makes perfect sense.

Where I'm getting hung up is the lack of sexual attraction even after getting to know the person

not sure where you're getting that from.

I think from me

Again, yes. Perzactly.

I'm not sure what I feel matches up with what the vast majority knows as "sexual attraction"

This is interesting phrasing. Would you consider what you feel “sexual attraction?”

Yeah, it kind of feels like "but how do I know that the red you see is REALLY the red I see?!?!?!?!" to me.

I guess this is what I'm thinking as well.

Timsexual attraction

I adore this phrase.

I could happily live responding to sensual and intellectual stimuli and never having sex again. That's weird, right?

While Steph is exploring what sexuality means for her, I'm at a total loss to define "weird."

I've been tossing around the term "aromantic sexual" in my head all day, trying to decide if it fits, and if I can make peace with it. I think I need to run it past people who've known me for decades so they can poke holes in it or prop it up.

But on the surface, it seems to kinda work.

If, you know, "broken" won't do.

tomorrow in onerous task day -- but I just did two - CC updates with two places. I also told them that the numbers they call from , is not identified by caller id, and I don't answer those calls. It did take me a month to return their calls. I would have answered if I knew who was calling

I could happily live responding to sensual and intellectual stimuli and never having sex again. That's weird, right?

Yeah, I don't think it's that uncommon, really, if advice columns are anything to go by.....

Please to check out my husband's fab new column, on Forbes Online! He gets paid by the page hit, so if you visit early and often, our pets can continue to eat.

Bookmarked! And I even clicked on an ad.

When I was down in L.A. Phil gave me an old, very gorgeous, polished cherrywood wood case of poker chips from the old World Poker Tour to give to Emmett. He's petting it and cooing over it and saying, "Oh my god! It's so fucking gorgeous. It's so cool."

Last time I called Time Warner Cable, they asked me what my channel lineup was. So I asked them what my channel lineup was. They said it depended, and I should tell them. He got quite defensive about it.

How is that not weird? How can they not know what service they're providing me with?

WHERE ARE MY COOLING THUNDERSTORMS?

Been promised all day. There are storms to the south of here. But nothing here and no cooling. I have my swim in, it can storm now.

So I crashed this last weekend with some old family friends: a pal of my brother from high school, who married my sister's college roommate. He's a fire chief, she's a software developer, and they live in a lovely house he built near the water in New England. They put me (& my sister & BIL & niece) up for the better part of 4 days, very graciously.

However there was never any time to get them a thank-you gift while I was there--we were ridiculously scheduled all weekend.

I want to get them something, and I will be sending a card, but I don't really know what else to send. They're very athletic and down-to-earth (although their daughter is a budding fangirl and dancer). Anyone have any suggestions?