Peeing standing up would rock. But getting it caught in zippers . . . I had a friend in college who was late for dinner once because he spent fifteen minutes knowing he was just going to have to yank the zipper back down real fast to free himself.
Mal: You were dead! Tracy: Hunh? Oh. Right. Suppose I was. Hey there, Zoe.
'The Message'
Natter 67: Overriding Vetoes
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, nail polish, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Connie Neil - Mar 07, 2011 9:35:28 am PST #26732 of 30001
brillig
§ ita § - Mar 07, 2011 9:35:35 am PST #26733 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
You don't need a penis to pee standing up. It just makes not getting it down your leg easier.
t /pedant
Yeah, that tag, totally closes.
Doctor's office, call in the refill! Stop telling me you have, when you haven't!
Connie Neil - Mar 07, 2011 9:36:09 am PST #26734 of 30001
brillig
As is the ability to put out small fires.
Hubby the former fireman has tales to tell. Involving beer and small grass fires.
Tom Scola - Mar 07, 2011 9:36:59 am PST #26735 of 30001
Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.
Writing your name in the snow!
§ ita § - Mar 07, 2011 9:37:29 am PST #26736 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Writing your name in the snow!
Requires snow. Ergo fail.
meara - Mar 07, 2011 9:38:17 am PST #26737 of 30001
That is pretty cool. As is the ability to put out small fires.
OK, putting out fires did not really occur to me, it's not something I've ever needed. But not having to sit down on a gross toilet seat? Being able to camp in the woods so much more easily? Stuck in a traffic jam with no place to go, and able to handle that business? Yeah, I envy that.
t ETA: Yes, ita, I know many women who can pee standing up...but it's SOOOO much more likely to be messy. And still involves dropping your pants a fair bit
-t - Mar 07, 2011 9:43:37 am PST #26738 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
That is why my great-great-grandmother always wore long skirts and no underwear, so she could easily squat in a field whenever she needed.
Yes, this is the lore that is passed down in my family.
tommyrot - Mar 07, 2011 9:48:24 am PST #26739 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Oh, and sometimes a bar or club will dump a bunch of ice in a urinal or one of those trough things. Then us boys can create tunnels into the ice.
DavidS - Mar 07, 2011 9:56:08 am PST #26740 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Yeah, I don't think Freud thought peeing was the essence of penis envy. Especially when that virtue is more than offset by the inconvenience of having dangling genitals. Talk about Unintelligent Design. Sort of like, God As Your Crappy Contractor.
God: "Okay, this bit which controls a good bit of your hormones will be hanging
outside
your body in a soft little sack next to these two moving limbs. Don't jostle it. And it was easier to hook the plumbing up so that the sexual and waste elimination functions went through the same tube. That won't be a problem, right?"
Jessica - Mar 07, 2011 9:58:51 am PST #26741 of 30001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
And it was easier to hook the plumbing up so that the sexual and waste elimination functions went through the same tube. That won't be a problem, right?
Count your blessings - at least we're not a species with cloacas.