Cash, your Jello shots just reminded me.

Kelly has CJ for the night. He will be sleeping in her dorm room. Yesterday she was bemoaning the fact that he is too young to corrupt. Ahhh, a big sister trying to do her duty.

I'm not sure when she went from crazy scary lady to just crazy lady.

Is she retired, ita?

I think the lawyer lady is a whinepot.

My morning routine is usually 2 hours long. But it includes suctioning and administering nebulized breathing treatments, feeding a kid with a gtube, hoping she won't puke. Changing sheets after she has puked. Diaper changes (at least two). On occasion, re-bathing a child and myself and changing trach ties and dressings. Dealing with a morning tantrum (Noah's) or two (mine). Putting on moisturizer. Putting on primer. Putting on foundation. Searching for clothes that match, are clean and don't have indelible stains on them. Dressing and redressing multiple times. Breakfast for 3 1/2 people. Doing the dishes. Feeding the dog and the cat. Making sure a med bag is packed, a backpack and lunch are packed and my work bag is packed.

Fuck.

No wonder I'm tired.

Is she retired, ita?

No, she keeps putting it off. I'm trying to imagine both my parents home all day, and whoah, yeah, NSM. But it's gotta happen soon. This might be her last year, I figure.

I can be out the door in 20 minutes. But, I have to not only plan my outfit, I have to put all of the elements out, otherwise I'll spend 5 minutes looking for a blouse or trying to find the other shoe.

over an hour to do an online application for a part-time retail job. Jesusita.

OMG, I am so addicted to Izze. It's not even funny.

I tried to get in touch with sleep doc today during the hours she gave me to call her. She wasn't there. They've given me a tiny window to call her in tomorrow, some of which I'm in a meeting for.

If I can't get in touch with her, I'm thinking of dropping the trazadone. I don't think I can do another week like this. I'm having really weird sleep--it's a cross between extremely light and lucid dreaming. I might be dreaming, since everything's much more visualised that I can usually generate on my own, but I totally can move around in the bed and I know what position I'm in. And it's not restful.

And mornings are foggy and crap. I've been late to work all week.

I have a purple witch's hat for Halloween. So at least I have a nod to a costume. Oo, they had a little olive green witch's hat with a veil on the brim. So cute. I was totally gonna buy that one but Isaac was most insistent I get the purple one instead. He thought the green wasn't witchy enough.

I think the lawyer lady is a whinepot.

I do too. My morning routine takes over an hour, but only about 15-20 minutes of that involves personal grooming.

ita, I think you should drop the trazadone anyway. It doesn't sound like it's giving you restful sleep.

I'm having really weird sleep--it's a cross between extremely light and lucid dreaming.

I went through this for a bit with Trazadone, but haven't had the issue for a while. Not to say you should just wait it out. Now once I'm asleep, which happens fairly quickly once I allow myself to settle down, I'm out until my alarm so rudely decides to wake me up.

The problem with waiting it out is that I'm miserable and it's really fucking with my ability to function and do my job. And it hurts. I don't know how much longer I can handle this.

Emo feelings aside--home by 6 every night? Seriously? For the rest of my life? Caffeine every morning? This is a cure?