Thanks, y'all. So much.
Ah, my middle brother. So funny, so charming, so smart, and by far one of the most self-involved people I have ever met. He's amaaaaayzing. I've learned not to expect anything from him over the years, but he still manages to surprise me.
I'm know that he's in a lot of pain over this. He and my other brother grew up together, whereas there's a seventeen-year gap between me and them. Just his way of dealing with it is so foreign to me. It's like he only perceives it through the lens of how it will affect him: his own mortality and how he has planned for retirement, whether or not S. will come out of the coma and be able to interact with him and make the trip somehow "worth it," how the phone conversations with my SiL are stressing him out because she gets upset. It never even occurs to him that there is an entire family in pain that might benefit from him going to New York, or that there is a tiny part of our brother that might perceive him coming to visit, even in the depths of his coma. (Or even that he himself would get something out of seeing S. one more time even if he isn't conscious; I know I did.)
As always with him, I just gotta let it go. Let. It. Go.