my motivation must be out shopping. gah. I still need to write some words today.

So looking forward to the second half of this week. Somewhat bemused by the possible outcomes of HKF trying to show her new doll to Mal, and Mal realizing that this doll is not in any way weaponized. Yet. It does now have a sparkly sleeping bag that didn't cost whatever the branded ones cost. And I tried a very little quilting, which was fun. HKF went full King-of-Cake over this fabric. [link]

Well, we talk about our pets all the time too but I think P-C's brother should stop using the cat as an excuse. It's the girlfriend they are disrespecting. I'd be furious if I were her.

Oh, she is. My dad fixated on the cat thing and hung up, so my brother couldn't get to the girlfriend-related reason he wouldn't stay with them. And I confirmed that they haven't met her or even seen pictures of her. She's not real to them.

I told my brother to show up on Thursday with the girlfriend, the dog, and the cat. That's the makings of an indie film right there.

And then I realized that they already made that movie, and it was called Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. And then my brother quoted this monologue that sums it up perfectly:

You listen to me. You say you don't want to tell me how to live my life. So what do you think you've been doing? You tell me what rights I've got or haven't got, and what I owe to you for what you've done for me. Let me tell you something. I owe you nothing! If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you're supposed to do! Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me like I will owe my son if I ever have another. But you don't own me! You can't tell me when or where I'm out of line, or try to get me to live my life according to your rules. You don't even know what I am, Dad, you don't know who I am. You don't know how I feel, what I think. And if I tried to explain it the rest of your life you will never understand. You are 30 years older than I am. You and your whole lousy generation believes the way it was for you is the way it's got to be. And not until your whole generation has lain down and died will the dead weight of you be off our backs! You understand, you've got to get off my back! Dad... Dad, you're my father. I'm your son. I love you. I always have and I always will. But you think of yourself as a colored man. I think of myself as a man.

Quoth my brother: "and that's a quote from 1967, fuck."

To my surprise, even my little sister has clued in to the fact that our dad doesn't really act like a father. I don't think I even had a father figure. I hate whenever anyone says I look, sound, or act like my dad.

hugs for Polter

I am still awake, but watching dumb tv and I drank a belgian beer and wrote a review about it on my new blog: [link]

Definitely feeling for you, Polter-Cow. I hope you have a great time seeing your brother during the holidays.

Thanks, smonster. What is so weird to me is that I have these very strong values I clearly got from them (and some from school). So when they go against the very values they taught me, it gives me a buffer overrun. I can't believe I'm in my mid-40s and I still haven't learned how to deal with it yet.

Did a fair amount of chore stuff today. I know mom will be in a CLEAN ALL THE THINGS frenzy for T-day and will be going ballistic. The chore I have is much larger than I can accomplish in one day so I figured I'd start early. I'm now so whipped that I don't have much physical energy left for myself. Which sucks because I need to do more recording and editing tonight. Not sure whether I'll force myself through or succumb to the pain fatigue.

Got a bit of a bike ride in, got threatened by a bike-hating dude who tried to play chicken with me, enjoyed being out in the fresh air otherwise. Wish the days weren't so darned short, though.

Oh, and just various details for the record so the story is all straight: it was my brother's girlfriend's idea for him to use the cat excuse, and he did tell my mom the girlfriend-related reason for not coming, after which she was silent for a while and then told him to bring her card games she can take on her India trip.

I hope you have a great time seeing your brother during the holidays.

SO MANY GAMES. No! Sleep! Till I beat BioShock!

PC, ah, man. You deserve better.

Not until I got to college did I realize how awesome I have it with my own slightly-fucked up but wonderfully goofy family that loves me.

And each year that passes, I am more grateful.

Way to channel your rage into delicious productivity, Nora.

So my mom burst into tears shen I told her about the potential offer, and then again when she thought about Frankie leaving. And that's perfectly fine and natural, but I just didn't quite expect it, though I should have.

Taz has also been extra snuggly and sweet today. Cat makes me happy! (well, less rage-y.)

So my mom burst into tears shen I told her about the potential offer, and then again when she thought about Frankie leaving. And that's perfectly fine and natural, but I just didn't quite expect it, though I should have.

Ah, smonster, that's hard. But it's your dream and hopefully, she'll come around. And hey-- you'd be moving for an actual job that allows you to follow your bliss as opposed to just following your bliss like I did. And even my mother is finally sort of starting to forgive me. Kind of. She acknowledges that the kids are doing great although when she was here in August she let loose with a plaintive, "Nate, will you let me take a picture of you-- your mother never sends me any and the next time I see you you'll either be in college or I'll be dead."

Family-- what can you do?