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Funny thing about black and white. You mix it together and you get gray. And it doesn't matter how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but gray.

Lilah ,'Destiny'

Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?

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[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.

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Zenkitty - Nov 17, 2010 4:57:12 pm PST #8799 of 30000

Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Hec, I think you're right about the "relationship Constitution". People tend to establish a dynamic real early on, and it's almost impossible to change it, especially if one party thinks the way things are is just fine.

bonny, I"m glad you found the discussion useful.

I read a book when I was a teenager called The Dance of Anger that was probably the first time I was able to see the people in my life and our relationships objectively. Interpersonal dynamics seemed almost like tidal forces, forces of nature, and I realized you (the general you) can't change the other person, and you can't always change yourself, but you can change the dynamic - if you change the way you act/react in the dynamic, the dynamic HAS to change around you. You become like the rock in the stream. It may not change the way you want it to, but if it has to change, you can change it - even if only by leaving it.

And now I realize that I was smarter when I was a kid than I was in my twenties and thirties. Maybe it was the hormones.

smonster - Nov 17, 2010 4:58:11 pm PST #8800 of 30000

We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

I'm going to blame my confusion on the remnants of a migraine that I've got... It made you think of me b/c I'm so notoriously not a morning person?

Hil R. - Nov 17, 2010 4:58:19 pm PST #8801 of 30000

Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

Codeine cough syrup is making me nicely mellow. And not coughing as much. Still coughing some, but it's calmed down a lot.

Zenkitty - Nov 17, 2010 5:00:20 pm PST #8802 of 30000

Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

smonster, I'm totally behind on everything, but I'm catching up! I'll call you in the morning.

Spidra Webster - Nov 17, 2010 5:01:32 pm PST #8803 of 30000

I wish I could just go somewhere to get flensed but none of the whaling ships near me take Medicare.

Happy birthday, Jilli!

I hope you feel better soon, Hil.

smonster - Nov 17, 2010 5:03:28 pm PST #8804 of 30000

We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Zen! Don't call me! I'm off to New Orleans until Tuesday and don't need to get up that early. Heh.

smonster - Nov 17, 2010 5:03:59 pm PST #8805 of 30000

We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

OMG and happy birthday to Jilli!

DavidS - Nov 17, 2010 5:04:06 pm PST #8806 of 30000

"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

It made you think of me b/c I'm so notoriously not a morning person?

Well, yes, and that Zen calls you to get you up. But in a cheerful way, one presumes.

smonster - Nov 17, 2010 5:06:30 pm PST #8807 of 30000

We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

We are both polite and affable, but neither of us is much up for cheerfulness at that hour.

Just making sure I wasn't missing something. Cannot brane, have teh migraine stupid.

Zenkitty - Nov 17, 2010 5:08:45 pm PST #8808 of 30000

Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Zen! Don't call me! I'm off to New Orleans until Tuesday and don't need to get up that early. Heh.

Oh, right! Okay, no early-morning announcements of what day it is.

But in a cheerful way, one presumes.

We're cheerful. Yeah.

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