Subject line from an email sent to an insurance agent friend of mine from an insurance company saying their computer system will be offline for maintenance:

Life to be Temporarily Unavailable Starting Tonight

Just remind your mom it didn't work out well in The Amityville Horror.

Let us know if a Hellmouth opens in her basement, k?

Now I feel the need for some black thigh highs, a robe, and a martini.

I just want the martini.

And to know if a Hellmouth does open in Barb's mom's basement, how much fuss and bother would it be to shove Barb's other problem down into it?

Please, let's remember the lessons Wolfram and Hart taught us about evil lawyers.

Please, let's remember the lessons Wolfram and Hart taught us about evil lawyers.

I just had a mental flash of Angel saying, "Oh, come ON, I'm holding your head!" but I don't think he was talking to a lawyer.

Now I feel the need for some black thigh highs, a robe, and a martini.

I would presume this is part of your wardrobe already.

And to know if a Hellmouth does open in Barb's mom's basement, how much fuss and bother would it be to shove Barb's other problem down into it?

Seeing as my mother lives in Miami and a basement would be a swamp and swamps would be infested with mosquitos and alligators, I support this idea.

Please, let's remember the lessons Wolfram and Hart taught us about evil lawyers.

That they like to dress like naughty schoolgirls and seduce former Watchers estranged from his current coworkers?

I would presume this is part of your wardrobe already.

.....

I may need to shop again.

Look, I am pretty woo-woo and witchy, and even I think that's a trifle on the overreacting side.

The woo-woo of it wouldn't make me ::headdesk:: quite so much if, on the other hand, she wasn't deep in the midst of her deep like with the Much Younger Jeweler who is deeply religious. She's taken to wearing a gold cross and is carrying around prayer cards and such, apparently.

Yet, she's having the Santera drop by for the friendly neighborhood ritual exorcism.

It's like, lady, pick a belief and stick with it, already.

That they like to dress like naughty schoolgirls and seduce former Watchers estranged from his current coworkers?

Hon, this is NOT the mental image I needed to have of your nemesis.

Doesn't Santeria (like voudoun) kinda roll well with Catholicism, though? This is probably not the biggest hurdle their relationship has...

Doesn't Santeria (like voudoun) kinda roll well with Catholicism, though? This is probably not the biggest hurdle their relationship has...

It does. However, he's of the conservative, straight and narrow type as opposed to the dipping into the mysticism end of that particular well.