Of course, I don't know whether I am cheering more for everything going well so far, or for you being such a good friend to G and his folks.

Thanks. I was really worried that G was going to freak out about being left in a strange house, but he was so excited to see TCG that he didn't seem to notice. Now he's telling me about all the different kinds of trucks.

he was so excited to see TCG that he didn't seem to notice. Now he's telling me about all the different kinds of trucks.

That's darling!

He still insisted that that specific blaming was far worse.

That is not darling. I don't suppose it would make this guy feel better if you suddenly take the position that "of course it is not stupidity, men are not that stupid. It's not ignorance, either. It is deliberate evil, engaged in for the purpose of ensuring that women never get the idea that they deserve the right to exist without feeling powerless to determine how other people are permitted to treat them."

Where do Bitches stand on alcoholic whipped cream?

Generally pro, but not when it comes out of a can. (Unless I'm serving kids or non-drinkers, I like to flavor my whipped cream with vanilla Stoli instead of sugar.)

Whipped cream can be alcoholic??

This sounds like something I MUST try.

Ugh, Shir, how gutchurning.

I've been thinking about how the blogs I'm most familiar with deal with these well-meaning but incredibly ignorant, painful comments from people who consider themselves friends. I don't know if either of these would work for you -- and if you just needed to vent then ignore this completely.

Does your Hollaback site have an FAQ or a link to any kind of Feminism 101 sites? One US feminist blog, Shakesville, makes heavy use of its 101 links -- the folks who run the site make it clear that they're here to provide a safe space to share painful stories and reactions to painful news, not to debate 101 issues. First time commenters are expected to have read the 101 links and understand what issues can be challenged and what is, at this late point in third-wave feminism, just a basic premise of the site and no longer up for debate. Commenters who keep fighting over closed debates get the banhammer.

Another site, Alas, A Blog, has 101 links and also a parallel site - if you want to argue about a post, go to the parallel and talk about it with any posters and moderators who have the stomach for debating the basics. The main blog is emphatically not for arguments, and violators get banhammered (except that since they started the second site, pretty much everyone has obeyed the rules and banning hasn't been necessary).

And, ugh, both of these require a lot of extra work from the authors and moderators, and it's utterly shitty that they have to do it at all, and beyond shitty that you're facing some of the same nonsense from your friends. I'm so sorry.

Yeah that`s tough. But try not to get too frustrated by it, personally. Remember that those attitudes are the ones you set out to challenge with Hollaback. It`s difficult when they are your friends` views, but it`s good that they can voice it and be confronted that it isn`t an acceptable way to think. That`s the work of the site, right there.
 
I agree with JZ that it`s a good idea to set up your boundaries and expectations right now so that you`re not dealing with it all the time in a non-productive way. It needs to be a safe space for women, but part of that is educating all people about how their attitudes are damaging. Not an easy job.

But try not to get too frustrated by it, personally. Remember that those attitudes are the ones you set out to challenge with Hollaback.

This.

(((((Shir)))))

~ma for you and hubs Connie.

(Unless I'm serving kids or non-drinkers, I like to flavor my whipped cream with vanilla Stoli instead of sugar.)

I like grand marnier, I'll have to try vanilla stoli.

~ma for Connie and her husband.