maybe. Ime, not everyone appreciates that.
Oh, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like — whoa! I'm eleven hundred years old! I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans.
Anya ,'Get It Done'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
erikaj - Oct 05, 2010 5:27:58 am PDT #5077 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!
Nora Deirdre - Oct 05, 2010 5:32:25 am PDT #5078 of 30000
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)
But I should have been more direct.
You've been through a traumatic physical situation that you're just starting to really recover from... I think that you can put the discussion with your friend about how her behavior impacted you off to another time, when you are better equipped to deal with it.
You can be direct later. Don't beat yourself up for it today!
WindSparrow - Oct 05, 2010 5:33:39 am PDT #5079 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
bonny, you do not in any way, shape, or form owe it to this person to spend energy on her at this time. You have already done enough - make no mistake about it, waiting around for someone does take energy, and when it is at a premium as it is for you now, that's nothing to sneeze at. You told the truth as you knew it, and now that you know differently, you are still allowed to choose how to spend the time and energy that are freed up by the knowledge. The choice that you are making is one that is good for your health and your business. Your bff has uniformly been less than rigorous in her communication herself, and doing so in a way that restricts your precious resources of time and energy. To regain your control of those resources is not the wrong thing to do.
I'm sorry her visit worked out this way. But clearly she has her priorities. And I do not think it is incumbent upon you to give up yours in favor of them.
Fred Pete - Oct 05, 2010 5:42:16 am PDT #5080 of 30000
Ann, that's a ferret.
bonny, you ARE booked in the sense that you have plans. You plan to marshal your energy/resources for your clients. You plan to use any "free time" not seeing clients to prepare for the next client -- and if that means recharging, that's certainly a part of preparation. Especially when you're still recovering.
brenda m - Oct 05, 2010 5:59:37 am PDT #5081 of 30000
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there
What is being more forthright going to accomplish? She's behaved hurtfully (or thoughtlessly) and I guess you could see it as a "now you see what I felt like." That could be worth it to you, but I doubt it. Would it do anything more than make it more awkward the next time you do see her? I think a conversation or note later on saying you're sorry you didn't get to see her and next time can we make some more specific plans, because it was hard feeling like you kept getting bumped down the list for more important stuff, would accomplish the same thing without escalating.
And your down time, especially right now, is completely legitimate. As I believe you've advised some of us in the past.
hippocampus - Oct 05, 2010 6:02:28 am PDT #5082 of 30000
not your mom's socks.
Bonny - take care of yourself. Your friend was being thoughtless and careless with your time. You waited for her all weekend. You did not do a bad thing.
Sox, just try to appreciate the American Girl stuff for being age appropriate and let the extended family do the buying! Kalliope already has a Bitty-Baby from Sara using this approach.
trying.
hippocampus - Oct 05, 2010 6:05:05 am PDT #5083 of 30000
not your mom's socks.
cheerios: My 20 year old Singer just bit the dust, and will only stitch in one direction, with lots of begging. I did all the maintenance-y things and the oiling and took it apart and the repair shop is making noises like 'the old grey mare ain't quite what she used to be'. It has been repaired a lot before. Does this mean I can start looking at new ones? The shiny ones that do some (not all because WHOO) of the tricks?
sj - Oct 05, 2010 6:09:19 am PDT #5084 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Bonny, what everyone else said. You being way too hard on yourself for telling a half truth to a friend who has done nothing to accommodate your needs this week.
I was able to get myself to the hairdressers this morning, but now I am sitting in their waiting room fighting back tears. I'm so pathetic.
WindSparrow - Oct 05, 2010 6:22:53 am PDT #5085 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Sox, my rec is Brother. The Brother factory makes the mechanisms for all the expensive European sounding name brands like Elna, etc. but when they do QC testing, they slap the Brother name on the best ones. At least that's how it was 6 years ago when I bought my sewing machine, and was given that advice by a naval captain who was looking into opening a sewing store when she retires.
beekaytee - Oct 05, 2010 6:42:52 am PDT #5086 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant
Aw. Thanks. I know you are right.
To regain your control of those resources is not the wrong thing to do.
This especially. My NOT reserving my energy would be irresponsible to the things that matter.
I let my pique with the bff get in the way of rational thinking. I'm going to chalk that up to the generalized fatigue. And, maybe some built up resentment about the way that relationship has gone. But I'm going to leave dealing with that for a much, much later date.
Sigh.
Now to refocus on what actually needs to be done.
You all are the best. Have I said that before? I bet I have. Because it is true.