I shared the spoon theory with my BFF last weekend, and she really liked it.

Oh! That is brilliant; I love it. It's so true; I'm always thinking about what I will do will affect my insomnia.

My biggest problem with incorporating the spoon theory into my life (I want to be clear I DON'T mean "biggest problem" in the sense that I disagree with the spoon theory) is that I don't feel like I have the "right" to use my spoons differently than healthy people. If that makes sense.

Like today -- I have a migraine that's making me barf. But I feel like I have no right to be cut any slack, even though I'm starting from a place where I have no energy, knifey head pain, and general barfiness. I wouldn't ever think that of anyone else in the same situation (like "Why aren't you washing the dishes/cleaning the bathtub/going to work/etc.?"), but I think it of myself. And I get that that's inconsistent and unkind to myself, but I still have a really hard time asserting my needs with other people. And with myself, I guess.

DUDES!!! And those who don't wish to be identified as dudes!!!

I am subbing!! Not as a teacher, but as an instructional parapro/aide!! I started today in Emeline's classroom and will be "renewed" every two weeks until the position gets posted and then I apply for it and then I (hopefully!) get the permanent gig! Holy shit, ya'll. Ho. Lee. Shit. I'm working in a classroom!! An honest to goodness classroom! With kids!

!!!!!

I'm personally uncomfortable drawing a bright line between "healthy" and "sick." (And especially with the implied definition of "healthy" as "has unlimited energy to do anything all the time." Nobody's healthy by those standards.)

Aimee, that is AWESOME!

I am subbing!!

YAY!

Yay, Aimee!

I'm personally uncomfortable drawing a bright line between "healthy" and "sick." (And especially with the implied definition of "healthy" as "has unlimited energy to do anything all the time." Nobody's healthy by those standards.)

I agree with you that no one has unlimited energy, but I really related to the beginning of the day stuff. I don't have lupus and I don't have to deal with all the same things that the writer deals with. However, I do feel like I have a million little things that I have to think about during the day that many other people don't have to deal with. One of the examples I use is that I would love to be able to run out of the house just once with one of those tiny fashionable purse and not have to check to check twice to make sure I have a list of things that I always need to have with me.

Yay, Aims!

I can't draw a bright line between healthy and spoon-metaphor, but there's a clear and distinct difference between the me of now and the me of five years ago. And there's getting tired (five years ago) and royally fucking myself over (me now), and it takes much less now to achieve the latter than it ever did to achieve the former. So I totally dig it, even though I have nothing as grave as lupus.